A Welter of Emotions
by sayyida jaida
Summary: It is the trio's 7th year and Hermione needs some space after breaking up with Ron. She decides to spend Christmas alone at the Leaky when trouble finds her. Warning: HBP Spoiler. NONCON SEX. M for a reason! Complete.
1. Life Changing Events

**A/N: This fic is one I was thinking about before the HBP came out, but now it's sort of solidified. If you haven't yet read HBP (Shame on you) then be warned that there are spoilers here. There is also explicit and sometimes non-consensual sex and violence. If you are old enough and mature enough to deal with that, read on. Otherwise, don't blame me for ruining the book or hurting your psyches. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. You all know that.**

* * *

Welter of Emotions

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here with us, 'Mione?" Harry asked, looking at me carefully. He and Ron were staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. It was their last Christmas at Hogwarts, and they wanted it to be special.

"Harry," I sighed, "yes, I'm positive. I need a break from school, and I need some time to myself, to think. I have a lot to think about. I'm going to spend some time shopping and having fun and seeing my family, and reading something that is not school related."

"Please, mark this day on the calendar. Read something NOT school related? Are you feeling OK?"

"Harry, please. I'm not kidding." I was tired and near to tears.

"I'm sorry, 'Mione. Have a good break. Owl us, or just come back, if you change your mind."

"I'll see you in a couple of weeks, Harry." And with that, I shrunk my trunk and left the tower to take a carriage to the Hogwarts Express.

It was good, I reflected on settling into a compartment alone, to get away from the boys for a while. Too much time around them, and you sort of start to forget that you're a girl. I think that was what happened to me for so long. I mean, I didn't forget that I was a girl, but when the two most important people in your life are boys, things like clothes and makeup and, well, girl talk, are not high on your list of priorities.

I mean, it took Ron SIX years to realize he fancied me. Partly, I think because I was just one of the guys for him. And partly because we were just too close, I think. We were too good of friends and we just didn't recognize that half a step from best friend to, umm, special friend…

Well, just as well. Maybe if we hadn't been such good friends before, we wouldn't be able to stand each other now that we'd broken up. Broken up because we were too good of friends. Frankly, it had always felt like kissing a brother. Now we were trying to patch back together six years of friendship. Harry and Ginny were a big help, and their friendship, post snogging partners, was a shining example. Ron and I were fine as long as we had company, but…well, I needed a break. There was always tension now when we were together.

Currently, I was directing my need to over-analyze every situation into trying to understand WHY it had taking Ron SIX years to realize he fancied me in the first place. I mean, I know I'm not cute or sexy or whatever…but I didn't think I was hideous, either. What was different about me?

My first thought was that I had never really tried at school. First off, I didn't have time, and it wasn't important enough to me for me to make time. School came first, which lately had included prefect duties and then Head Girl duties. Fighting Voldemort and trying to keep Harry from getting killed was also higher on my priority list than clothes.

If I'm being honest, though, I have to admit that I didn't feel like trying to compete in something I would never be that good at. Lavender and Pavarti were my dorm mates. I got to hear them be girls on a regular basis, talking about boys and clothes and painting each others nails. They were the gold standard of feminity, and I knew I'd never be like that. Lavender was beautiful and Pavarti was exotic and sexy. Even my best female friend, Ginny, was beautiful in a different way with her long red hair and easy laugh. They all had boys chasing them all the time. It was like I was in their shadow. And my bushy hair didn't help that at all.

* * *

Getting off the train at Kings Cross, I took my trunk and apperated to the Leaky Cauldron. For the first time ever, I had lied to Harry and Ron. I wasn't going to see my family over Christmas. They had gone to Italy for the holiday. I was of age now, though, so I was going to spend my holiday at Diagon Alley. I hadn't told the boys because I didn't want them to worry about me spending the holiday alone. But right now, that's what I needed, alone time.

"Tom," I said, walking up to the proprietor, "I need a room for the next two weeks." He looked a little worried at this, craning his neck around to look for the people traveling with me.

"Hermione, you know I can't let out a room to underage wizards without an adult signature…" he said, looking embarrassed. "Not that I'd have any problems with you, of course, with loud parties and what not, but that's the law…"

Sighing, I took out my purple and gold wizarding identification card that I had received when I turned 17, which is legal age in the wizarding world. It also had my apperation license information on it. Seeing that, Tom smiled. "Goodness, Hermione, where has the time gone. Of course I have a nice room for you. And we are going to have a lovely Christmas party for the guests this year. Here you go dear, room 7." He handed me a large brass key with a large tag saying 7 on it and came around the counter to carry my trunk up for me.

After settling into my room, I decided to get a start on my Christmas shopping. Stopping first into Gringott's, where last summer I had opened my own vault and transferred all my muggle savings to a wizard account, I budgeted my shopping expenses and made a withdrawal. As I was leaving the bank, I thought I heard a familiar voice, but I couldn't quite place it, and I didn't see anyone I recognized.

As I wandered around Diagon Alley I wondered what I should get for my best friend of 6 years who was also my ex-boyfriend. Awkward. Very Awkward. As I was considering this, I noticed my feet had taken me to the Weasley twins' joke shop. I decided to see what new and frightening things they had created since that summer, and pushed the door open.

"Well, well, well. George, look what the cat dragged in," Fred said from behind the counter. Looking around I noticed there were several younger students in the shop, along with the twins.

"Hermione! Good to see you. Where are Ron and Harry?" George said, looking up from the display he was arranging.

"Well, George, they stayed at Hogwarts for the break." I said, smiling at the twins.

"So you are going to visit your family then?" Fred asked.

"No, I'm staying at the Leakey Cauldron. My family's visiting some relatives in Italy, and I wanted to be alone for a while and think." I answered Fred.

At this, the twins looked at each other with the knowing look that only twins can share. "Hermione, we are staying here for Christmas this year, what with having the shop and all. And Mom and Dad and Bill and Ginny are in Romania visiting Charlie. It would be great if you would spend Christmas with us. At least in the evenings. You can have your alone time during the day, but you should be with friends and family some, too. That's what the holidays are all about…" George was looking at me intently.

I thought for a minute. This seemed like a perfect solution. I didn't really want to be alone on Christmas, but I needed time away from Ron and Harry. Mostly Ron, but Ron and Harry were like a set. The only people I'd ever seen closer were the twins. But this meant I could still have the day time to think about life and what I wanted out of it.

"All right, George, you have a deal. I'll even cook Christmas dinner, if you have a kitchen…" I blushed, wondering if I was up to this, given that their mother was such a fabulous cook…

"You're on, Hermione!" They said together.

"Well, for tonight, why don't you come to my room at the Leaky Cauldron when you get the shop closed up? We can have dinner and catch up on all the dumb things your prat of a brother has done in the last three months." I offered.

"Great, see you at 8. What room?" Fred asked.

"Room 7." I smiled at them and headed back to make sure everything was straightened up before they could arrive. Glancing at my watch, I saw that I had about two hours until they'd be there.

* * *

Back at the Leaky Cauldron, I decided to take a quick shower and get cleaned up. I got undressed and put a bath robe on. Grabbing my shower bag, I made sure the robe was securely tied and headed to the floors only bathroom.

Having never been the kind of girl to spend hours primping, I quickly showered. Getting out of the tub, I saw myself in the mirror, and decided to try the new Sleakeasy potion for frizzy hair that I had picked up over the summer and never bothered with. It worked fairly well, mostly taming my hair into waves, although it did nothing for the spit ends. I guess it was time for another haircut.

I tied my robe back around me and, glancing at my watch and noting I have another hour, I headed back to my room. I opened the door and walked in, dropping my bag in the room's only chair. It was then that I glanced at the mirror and noticed I wasn't alone in the room. I whirled around to face the last person I ever wanted to see again.

"Draco, please leave." I said, through clenched teeth, reaching into my pocket for my wand. It was only then that I realized I had left my wand in the pocket of the jacket I had worn shopping. Cold fear clenched in my belly, although I wasn't going to let it show on my face. Ever since I had heard from Harry about Draco's part in the death of Dumbledore, I had hated him, feared him, and pitied him. All those emotions were circling in my brain right now, and I didn't want to face them. This was the other reason I had needed to get away from Hogwarts…all these memories…

I saw Draco use my wand to lock the door and shivered at the thought of that filthy bastard touching anything of mine.

He smirked at my expression. "So, Mudblood, have you been enjoying your year? Who do you miss more, me, or Dumbledore?"

"Your absence has almost balanced out his," I said quietly.

"Awe, Mudblood, you don't miss me? Do you even think about me? I have been thinking about you." He took a step closer. "I've been thinking about you a lot and wondering certain things, given your close relationship with the Weasel and the Chosen One. Then I realized I'd been with a lot of girls, but never a Mudblood. Maybe there's a reason so many wizards are willing to become blood traitors. But who could I experiment on and see? And that's when I thought of…you…" He walked towards me while I shrank back until my thighs hit the edge of the bed. Draco was pointing my own wand at me.

"You should be honored, Granger. Pansy'd kill for another chance with me. What do you say?"

"I'd rather die."

"Ah, Granger, that'll happen anyway. Might as well live a little first." Before I knew it he was beside me and had grabbed a handful of my hair, using it as a handle to throw me to the floor. I landed hard on my ass, my robe falling open. Before I could move to either get up or cover myself, he was on me, pushing me down with a gloved hand on my throat.

"Please, stop, oh god, please, stop…" I was starting to cry now. He slapped me, hard with his other hand, and grabbing his wand, pointed it at my throat.

"Pianissimo" he said as a sparkle of violet light hit my throat. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get out more than a whisper.

"Please, Draco, please stop…" I whispered.

"Ah, Mudblood, your pleading is music to my ears." He let go of my throat. Somewhere inside of me, my Gryffindor bravery was building. Wandless and almost naked, my face burning where he had hit me, I wasn't going to give up. Crooking my fingers I went for the eyes, like I'd been taught in the self defense classes my mother had insisted I take when I turned 16 and the war with Voldemort had begun.

Somehow, though, he sensed what I was doing, or his reflexes were better than I anticipated, because instead of blinding him, I received another hit with his other hand, harder than the first. Then, once again, my own wand was pointed at me and, with a sticking charm, both of my wrists were attached to the floor.

I tried to scream, but all that came out was a whisper. The tears were now pouring down my face as he roughly jerked my robe open, mauling my breasts with his gloved hands until I could see the welts that would eventually form purple bruises. With one hand he slapped me on the ass so hard I jumped and jerked. Momentarily, my knees separated in my surprise at the new pain, and before I could slam them shut again, he pushed his way between my legs, kneeling on my thighs so that I was forced apart.

With one gloved hand, he trailed his way down my body. It was then that I noticed the texture of his glove was rough, sending shivers through me, shivers combined of equal parts of fear and self-loathing. No one had ever touched me so intimately. I felt dirty and humiliated.

With a shock, I realized his hand was sliding between my legs and the rough glove was spreading my wide. The cool air was a shock and I let out a soft sob, "Please, Draco, don't do this…please, stop…."

His hand stopped, resting on my clit, and his rough, gloved finger began stroking me. In that instant I was filled with hatred both for my traitorous body that was feeling pleasure at his touch and for him who was forcing me to do this against my will.

He could clearly see the emotions in my eyes, because now he smiled. "Mudblood, you're pathetic. Too bad Potty and the Weasel didn't realize how desperate you were to have a man between your legs. Or did they know? Well, I guess there's only one way to find out."

With that he reached down and unbuttoned his trousers, letting them fall around his knees. He then freed his cock with a tug from his boxers. Reaching into his robe pocket, he pulled out a little foil wrapped muggle condom. Tearing the package open, he quickly pulled it out and rolled it on. "Wouldn't want to actually touch you, you filthy slut. You might contaminate me."

I was crying now, beyond even begging him to stop. Tears were rolling down my cheeks at the complete humiliation I felt at the idea of loosing my virginity to a man who didn't even want to touch me.

With a gasp I felt him force his way inside me. I would have screamed it I could have. I would have writhed and kicked, done anything to escape the stabbing pain that started between my legs and felt like it was ripping my in half. Instead, I did the only thing I could. Close my eyes, bite my lip, and try to ignore his blond head as he bounced on top of me.

Finally, with a shudder, he came. He smiled at me as he reached down and caught the condom as he pulled out. "Granger that was the worst fuck I've ever had. Try to get some practice so you do better next time," he said as he hitched his pants back into place. "Finite incantatum," he said, releasing my arms and my voice all at once. My crying returned to normal as I grabbed my robe, trying to pull its bloodstained fabric over me where I huddled on the floor.

Throwing my wand down on the bed, he used his own to unlock the door and walk out, as though nothing had happened.

In shock, I stayed where I was on the floor. I was afraid he'd come back and do something else, something worse, although I couldn't think of anything worse he could do.

I don't know how long I sat there. Long enough for my feet to fall asleep and my eyes to feel like they were lined with sandpaper at least. All I remember is being startled when I heard a knock on the door, followed by it creaking open as I tried to scootch back as far as I could. I wanted to hide and get away and die. Instead, two tall red-heads burst into the room.

"Hermione?" They called looking around. They hadn't seen my huddled form, yet. Looking at each other they came all the way into the room. "Tom did say he hadn't seen her leave, right?" Fred said to his twin.

"I thought so." George answered. Then apparently hearing my sniffle, he looked into the dark corner where I was crouched onto the floor in a ball. "Hermione! Oh my God! What happened?"

A/N: If you want to know the twins reactions, then I guess you had better review...


	2. Reassurance

**A/N: This fic is one I was thinking about before the HBP came out, but now it's sort of solidified. If you haven't yet read HBP (Shame on you) then be warned that there are spoilers here. There is also explicit and sometimes non-consensual sex and violence. If you are old enough and mature enough to deal with that, read on. Otherwise, don't blame me for ruining the book or hurting your psyches. Please review.**

**Special thanks to:**

**Kichou: for being the first reviewer.**

**Michele1985: for the nice comments.**

**ashley48506: you're right, but the notes did warn of the spoiler…**

**jinxblessed: she called him that in an attempt to appeal to his human side and make him see her as a human being…**

**Bookie: thanks for the compliment. I'm working on how I'm going to have that happen. I trying not to ump POV at all, which makes it hard to have them do something without her.**

**Celeste Noir: thank you!**

**Lateral Thinker: another thank you!**

**It's so nice to know someone is reading…it means a lot to an author when people review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. You all know that.**

* * *

"Hermione?" They called looking around. They hadn't seen my huddled form, yet. Looking at each other they came all the way into the room. "Tom did say he hadn't seen her leave, right?" Fred said to his twin.

"I thought so." George answered. Then apparently hearing my sniffle, he looked into the dark corner where I was crouched onto the floor in a ball. "Hermione! Oh my God! What happened?"

Looking up, I saw George's concerned eyes first, full of shock and anger and fear and hurt and…empathy? With a sob I convulsively tried to cover myself more, but the movement woke a fierce pain. The room swam, and I passed out.

When I next dragged myself into consciousness, I found myself lying in a comfortable bed. I was dressed in a jumper that was much too large and a pair of boxer shorts. I still felt sore from the battering I had sustained, but looking at my wrists, my bruises were much faded already.

Allowing my awareness to expand and encompass the entire room, I noticed the moon was up. Hearing soft snores, I noticed one of the twins was asleep in a chair next to the bed. Sleeping, I couldn't tell which twin it was. I did realize where I was though, since I clearly was not in my room at the Leaky Cauldron.

I decided to try and sit up, but it hurt more than I had thought it would, causing a soft moan to escape me.

Even that barest hint of sound caused the twin to wake.

Slowly, as if he knew that a sudden movement or loud noise would upset me, he came over to the bedside. Gently, he took my hand in his, and turned it over, looking at the miraculously fading bruises. Carefully, he sat on the side of the bed, being close enough to talk quietly, but far enough away that he didn't touch me.

"Hermione, I know you may not be ready to talk yet, especially to me and Fred. We don't really know you that well. But when you want to talk, we'll be here for you. I healed you as best I could. I had to learn a lot of simple healing charms when we were working on the Snackboxes. You're not 100, but you're not bleeding internally, your bruises are fading, and no broken bones. If you want, we can take you to St. Mungo's, but I want you to know we're not going to force you to do anything. I went ahead and brought your stuff from the Leaky Cauldron, but I only told Tom that you decided to stay with us. You're in my room, and you can stay here as long as you want. I can bunk in with Fred."

"George…you don't have to do this for me. I should stay at the Leaky Cauldron…or go back to my parents' flat…I don't want to be in your way…especially during your holiday rush…or spoil your Christmas."

"Hermione, please, don't. We may not have been as close as you are with Ron and Harry and Ginny, but we are still your friends and fellow Gryffindors. Do you want me to take you to St. Mungo's?"

At this, I started to cry again. I couldn't bare the thought of talking a stranger about this. I didn't even want to talk about this to the people I loved. I wanted to vomit at the thought of Harry and Ron finding out about this, and if I went to the hospital I know they eventually would. St. Mungo's was bound to tell the school and my parents, and then McGonagal would tell them thinking I needed their support. And what would they think of me? Harry would try to be supportive, but he already has so much on his plate, what with the war and hunting down the horcruxes and everything. And Ron would go ballistic.

Would Ron go ballistic at me, though? Like he did when I dated Krum? Even though we broke up, part of that was because our physical relationship was so awkward, like kissing a brother. At least it had been for me. But what if he thought I had wanted to have sex, just not with him? What if Malfoy had been right? What if I really was curious about sex enough that I wanted to experiment? I mean, not the way it had happened, but with someone I wasn't married to? After all, that was what I had told Ron. That I wanted to wait until I was with the person I was going to be with forever. Would Ron support me? Or fight with me? Cause right now I couldn't stand the thought of fighting with him.

Maybe I should owl Ginny. She'd be supportive. She'd help me get through this. She's not naïve and innocent, no matter what her brother's think. And she knows how to keep a secret from them…

I realized that my brain was going in circles.

"I'm sorry, George, what did you say?" I had completely lost my train of thought.

George looked at me, even more worried. "I asked if you would like me to take you to St. Mungo's. Would you?"

"Um…no. I don't think that's a good idea right now." I was getting tired.

"Do you want me to owl Harry and Ron, and, you know, ask them to come down?"

Horrified at the thought of them finding out about this, I started to cry sitting there in the bed with the too big jumper on. "No George, please, promise me that you won't tell anyone. And you won't let Fred tell anyone either." I hoped he could understand me through my sobbing.

Gently, so as not to hurt my bruises or to startle me, he put a long arm around my shoulder and drew me to his chest. "I won't Hermione. I think you need your friends, but I won't force you into anything. I promise." With that, he leaned down and kissed the top of my head. He made a move to stand up but I reached out and put a hand on his cheek.

"Please, George, can you stay a while? I don't really want to be alone right now."

"Of course Hermione. Just let me tell Fred you're awake and that he should find us all some dinner." He rose and left the room. I looked under the covers and saw that I had been bathed and dressed in the twins clothing. I smiled at how huge the jumper was. I tried not to think about Fred and George taking care of me, like that though, seeing me naked…although I was pretty sure I wasn't the first naked woman they'd seen. After all, they had both been pretty popular at school, and from what Ron said, had quite the social life now that they were adults and living away from home.

Just then, both twins came back into the room. "Pizza or Chinese?" Fred asked.

"Umm…pizza." I decided.

"Pizza it is!" Fred said with a grin. "Be back in a minute!" He went tearing from the room.

A few minutes later Fred returned to the room carrying a muggle pizza box and some bottles of butter beer.

"Hermione," Fred said, "I want you to know that when you are ready to talk, we'll be here for you. We are formidable allies, after all. And we still have our beater's bats…" he raised his eyebrows and grinned at me.

At the thought of the twins beating Malfoy with their bats I smiled for the first time since…it…happened. "Can we eat first? I'm starved…" I stalled, trying to buy myself time. I took a piece of pizza from Fred and a butter beer from George. While we ate, the twins took turns telling me about some of their latest inventions at the shop. The normal conversation helped to calm my nerves, and the twins didn't seem to expect me to do more than nod and look attentive. They also didn't seem to notice that I was mostly playing with the piece of pizza. When I'd finished my piece of pizza and they'd finished the rest, though, the conversation began to lag and George started giving me expectant looks.

"Look, Hermione, I know that you don't really want to talk about what happened today…well…yesterday now….but I really do think it will help. You know that Fred and I have been full members of the Order for a little more than a year now, but I don't think anyone ever really told you what we've been doing."

Fred shot George a warning look. "George, wait. Hermione, I agree with George that we need to tell you what we've been doing lately for the Order, that it may help you to trust us. But first I'll need your word that you won't let this go any further. And that includes Harry, Ron, and Ginny. I think it's only fair that we share our secret, and I think it will help you understand…but…it cannot go any further."

"Err, Fred, um…of course I will keep your secrets…" I was confused. I had known they had been made members of the Order, but I didn't know they'd been doing any missions. And I didn't want them to get into any trouble for my sake. But I must admit I was curious…I also did not see how their work for the Order would have anything to do with my situation. But I also thought that maybe if they could trust me with their secret, I could…well…open up a little.

"All right. Remember, you can't tell anyone." Fred looked at me closely.

With a sigh, George started explaining. "Well, 'Mione, of all the full members of the Order, we, that is to say Fred and I, are the only ones really comfortable in the muggle world. We're the only ones capable of passing as muggles. Partly because we are friends with some of the muggle-born or raised wizards, like Harry. Partly because we have grown up around Dad's fascination with muggle culture. But I think mostly because we have spent a lot of time in the muggle world doing research and collecting supplies for the shop. The only other member of the Order who is as comfortable in the muggle world is Tonks." George paused, and Fred took up the thread.

"Tonks' job as an auror, though, and her assignment to Hogsmead and Hogwarts was much too important for the Order to ask her to go wandering in the muggle parts of Britain. So, that's what we do. Our main task is to read through police reports and newspapers and contact the victims. Basically, we want to see how many of them are muggle on muggle acts of violence versus muggle baiting from the Death Eaters."

With a deep breath, George started talking again. "Even with the Prophet and Ministry accepting that Voldemort's back, they aren't reporting all the crimes against muggles that his followers are perpetrating. Only the murders get reported. Probably because they'd have to do a special edition of the paper that only reported crimes otherwise. So we have been talking to muggles in our spare time and collecting their stories about the Death Eater attacks to use as evidence if we ever win this war. And then we do what we can for them…heal them, usually, and oblivate them…" George trailed off.

Fred picked up the thread. "So, we have been hearing a lot of stories of torture, both using magic and through simple beating…and also…well…a number of rapes. I have a feeling that in 11 or 12 years there are going to be a number of muggle born witches and wizards at Hogwarts." He looked me in the eyes, and I could still see the pain there, that he'd had to hear all these stories and couldn't do much to fix these people's problems. This wasn't the Fred I remembered from school.

I looked at George and realized he was subdued, the pain in his eyes echoing his brothers. Of all the shocks I had received as a result of this war, I think this was the most shocking. The twins had always been so full of life and mischief. They were so serious now. I sighed.

George echoed it. "Hermione, the reason I thought you should know this is that you are not alone in what happened to you. And we've seen the after effects enough to have a pretty good idea of what that was. I'd like you to tell us as many of the details as you can, so that I can add it to the list of payments I'm going to exact soon. It's hard enough seeing a stranger broken and bloody. But to see you, our brother's best friend, our fellow Gryffindor…someone is going to pay. Nothing you can say will shock us. Nothing you can say will make us think it was your fault. Please, tell us what happened…"

* * *

A/N: I have begun the next chapter, which will include their reactions to Malfoy. I thought about continuing this one to include that, but decided that it should stand alone. I hope you enjoy... 


	3. Time for the Truth

**A/N: This fic is one I was thinking about before the HBP came out, but now it's sort of solidified. If you haven't yet read HBP (Shame on you) then be warned that there are spoilers here. There is also explicit and sometimes non-consensual sex and violence. If you are old enough and mature enough to deal with that, read on. Otherwise, don't blame me for ruining the book or hurting your psyches. Please review.**

**Special Thanks to:**

**Kichou: for a second review…**

**ashley48506: for a nice review…**

**Celeste Noir: I'm glad you like it. I think beater bats quite appropriate….hhmmm…**

**It's so nice to know someone is reading…it means a lot to an author when people review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. You all know that.**

* * *

"Please, tell us what happened…"

Looking into two pairs of concerned eyes, how could I not tell them the truth?

Clasping my hands together and locking my arms around my knees, I started to talk quietly. I was afraid of their eyes and couldn't meet their gazes as I tried to explain what had happened, starting with the break-up with Ron, needing space and lying to my best friends and my family, wandering around shopping, getting back after talking to them earlier, showering, and then returning to my room and discovering I wasn't alone.

When it got to the identity of my attacker, I paused, unsure of their reaction. Daring a glance up, I saw that both of them had gone white as a ghost, their freckles horribly standing out. They looked at each other, passing another look between them, seeming to read each other's minds. They looked back to me, the concern still there, along with a growing anger.

"Hermione, I know that talking about the details is hard for you, but we're here for you. And the more details you give us, the better we can suit our…retribution….on Malfoy…"

Dropping my eyes, I continued. When I got to him yanking me around by my hair, I felt tears start down my cheeks, again. I was starting to feel like a faucet that no matter how tightly you turn the handle, water still leaks out.

At the tears, one of the twins came over to me, and sitting next to me, put an arm around my shoulders. He didn't squeeze or get too close, giving me space, but his presence was a comfort. I didn't look up to see which one it was, but continued with my story.

I told them about his choking me, his hurting me. They had seen the bruises of course, when they were healing me. When I told them about his touching me, I couldn't control the sobs that came from me. I had to stop.

The twins didn't say anything, but the arm on my shoulders tightened, pulling me into an embrace and stroking my hair, gently comforting me.

The other twin got up and sat on the other side of me, gently patting my back.

I eventually got control of my sobs, and continued.

I told them that Malfoy had used protection, but that strangely, this upset me. That for all the contact we had, he had never allowed our skin to touch. He didn't want to be contaminated. I told them that this hurt the worst. That even though he was doing this to me, he couldn't bare to touch me…

I lost it again. "I didn't want Malfoy to touch me. Why did he bother, if he was so repulsed by me? Why did I have to loose my virginity to someone who didn't want to touch me? Why my first time?" I was beyond sobbing now.

"Shhhhh, Hermione. Shhhhh, we're here. We'll take care of you now…." I heard from my right.

"And him." This came from my left.

Surprised, I looked up unto the eyes of the twin who had been holding me, rocking me, and now, willing to defend me…George, my mind supplied the identification.

"I….I don't…don't want you to get hurt. It's not worth it…..he's not worth it…." Now I was worried that they'd get hurt and that would be my fault, too.

"He's not worth anything, 'Mione. But you are. Did he say anything else we should know about?"

"Um…he called me a Mudblood. He said I wasn't a good fuck…nothing earth shattering…just hurtful."

Nodding tightly, the twins once again exchanged a look. Looking at me, Fred asked, "Do you think you can sleep? You need to rest in order to finish healing."

"I am tired, but I don't want to be alone yet."

"Actually, I don't think you should be alone. You may have nightmares." Taking out his wand, George conjured a cot and some blankets. He looked at Fred, who gave me a hug, and turned to leave.

George helped me get into bed and tucked me in. "We'll talk more in the morning, and plan, too. Now, you need to sleep. I will be right there. I won't let anyone hurt you. Not even Fred," he paused with a grin, which I returned, "and tomorrow we can focus on fixing things. Sleep well, Hermione." And with that he kissed my cheek, climbed into the cot, and turned out his wand light with a muttered "nox".

The fire was still glowing, so it wasn't totally dark, and I saw his eyes still open.

"Goodnight, George. I know you're Ron's brother, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have already done for me. I don't know what I would have done without you and Fred. And I know I'll never be able to repay you, but if I can every help you….well….Goodnight."

And with that, I fell asleep.

"Goodnight, Hermione. The unfairness of this whole situation is almost funny. Heal, Hermione, please heal…" George whispered, before he too, fell asleep.

A/N: This chapter was shorter than the others, but I wanted to go ahead and get it off her chest. So, in your reviews, let me know what yyou think of her falling for George, or whether he should have an unrequited love...


	4. Getting Ready

**A/N: This fic is one I was thinking about before the HBP came out, but now it's sort of solidified. If you haven't yet read HBP (Shame on you) then be warned that there are spoilers here. There is also explicit and sometimes non-consensual sex and violence. If you are old enough and mature enough to deal with that, read on. Otherwise, don't blame me for ruining the book or hurting your psyches. Please review.**

**Thanks to:**

**Celeste Noir: I agree. She is going to have to come to terms with what happened. And so is he….**

**Threepastmidnight: Same time, hmmm, yes….**

**Kichou: Again, thanks...**

**Sayaka: Thanks. I think I'm too much a romantic to want them to not find happiness, but they will definately have to work for it...And I know these are hard issues. I used to work in a Rape Counciling office during my undergrad years. On the other hand, it's a very prevelant problem that I think needs to be addressed. It's also one of the facts of war. It's an easy way to hurt the opposite side. Remember, rape is about power, not sex. That's what Hermione is going to have to come to grips with before she can have a relationship.**

**Ashley48506: I know, aren't they adorable? I want them to seem like they have seen enough to have grown up a bit...they have their own demons to work through...**

**dog-demon3: Don't be sad, things will perk up...at least for a while...until she has to face normal life...hmmm...maybe I should make this a dark fic...**

**It's so nice to know someone is reading…it means a lot to an author when people review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. You all know that.**

* * *

When I awoke the next morning I saw that George was already awake, the cot pushed against the wall. I quickly got out of the bed and went to the loo, which was right across the hall. I glanced in the mirror. A frightening and frightened face gazed back.

There were bruises in the shape on hand prints on both cheeks, and one eye was blackened. My lower lip was swollen. I had a large bruise across my throat. Looking at my hands, I realized the skin on their backs was raw from the sticking charm. Removing the rest of my clothing, I saw the bruises on my breasts from his hands, on my thighs from his knees.

Sighing and willing myself not to start crying again, I sat on the toilet to relieve my overly full bladder. God, it even hurt to pee. That was the final straw, and the tears came to my eyes again.

I decided that the world always looks better after a hot shower, so I turned the water on full blast and adjusted the temperature.

I hadn't thought to bring my toiletries into the bathroom, so I decided that their boy shampoo would have to do for now. Although, given the texture of my hair, I should probably go get my own….oh well. Given the bruises on my face, no one will notice if my hair is a little bushier than normal…

After I was clean, I did feel a lot better. I dried of with a giant towel and wrapped it around me. Unlocking the door, I peeked my head out to see if there was anyone in the hall. I gathered up the clothing I had slept in, and made a dash across the hall into George's bedroom, my sanctuary.

Quickly closing the door, I turned around. Seeing movement, I let out a shriek. "AAAKK!"

George looked up from where he was putting away some laundry and let out a muffeled yelp of his own. "Blimey, Hermione, you scared me to death!"

"I scared YOU!" I was torn between anger and fear. "Why is it that every time I take a shower I come back to find a man in my room!"

"Oh, God, Hermione. I'm so sorry. I….I'll be waiting outside. It didn't even occur to me…I…" flushing until his face matched his hair, George scuttled past me to make a hasty exit.

_Oh, good job, Granger. Yell at your savior._

_Savior?_

Now, more confused than ever, I dug out some clean clothing from my trunk, thankful that the boys had brought it to their flat. Something loose and concealing and comfortable….sweatpants and a tee-shirt. Perfect. A sports bra…definitely…some of the granny panties I usually save for that time of the month….that'll do…some fuzzy footie socks….yes….

Getting dressed, I decided to also keep on the huge Weasley sweater I had slept in last night. It was warm and it made me feel safe…

I went back over to the mirror and, grabbing my wand, muttered a few charms to help my bruises fade. Then, with a breath, I also cast a concealer charm to help cover them up, and a charm on my hair to make it less…well…less.

Padding back to the door, I opened it to see George still in the hall, blushes fading.

"George. I'm sorry I yelled. I was just surprised and jumpy. I know you'd never…hurt me."

"Hermione, I should have made more noise or left the door open. It's my fault. I knew you'd be jumpy…"

"Well, let's just forget it, OK?" I asked.

"Of course. Hungry? Fred's making breakfast…he's actually not a bad cook."

"Um, yeah, sure." Actually, I was hungry. I hadn't eaten more than that one piece of pizza in almost 24 hours. But my stomach was a bit roiled from the earlier surprise. I smiled tentatively up at George. "Sorry if I was being a bit of a bitch, I mean, it's your room after all. It just startled me to come back and find you in there…forgive me?"

George smiled back. "Forgiven. You don't even have to ask." And with that, he offered me his arm and escorted me into the kitchen.

Somehow, after a shower and a heaping stack of pancakes, things always look better.

After breakfast, I went to wash the syrup off my face and hands and brush my teeth (both of my parents are dentists, after all) and headed back to the kitchen. Only to walk in on a heated discussion.

"She can come with us. You can't even see the bruises today."

"She's not going to want to go out and face people yet, Fred. One of us should stay here with her."

"It's the week before Christmas. We can't stay here."

"Lee will be at the shop, and so will Maria and Carey. We have plenty of help."

"If she goes, she can help, too. I know we will be OK if one of us stays here with her, but don't you think she might like something to do? Take her mind of it, and all?"

"Um, guys. I'm right here, why don't you just ask me?" I was a little exasperated. They were starting to remind me of Harry and Ron.

They both jumped at my voice and turned to face me.

"Well, ah, Hermione, ah, er, you see…the thing is….ah, well, that…"

"It's your busy season and you need everyone there. And you feel guilty leaving me here alone with nothing to do. Yes, I understand your dilemma."

"Oh, well, then…um…"

"Please. I am not made of glass. The store is RIGHT DOWN STAIRS. I think I can manage to be here alone. If you have some slow times, you can always pop up and check on me."

"Why didn't I think of that?" Fred muttered…

"Really, I'm not made of glass. I'll be OK." I was glaring now. I really appreciated what they had done, but deep down I knew I needed some space right now to sort through everything on my own.

"All right, then," Fred said. "We'll be right down stairs. Yell like our Mum if you need anything…we'll hear you." And with a grin, he headed down the stairs.

"I'll be up to check on you in a bit," George said, as he followed his twin out.

Silence. Well, relative silence. There was noise coming from the shop down stairs. But it was muted.

I wandered around, cleaning up after breakfast. Doing the dishes and putting them away. Folding the clean laundry that was in a pile on Fred's bed. Looking around, I realized this was very much a bachelor pad. Things had that slightly dingy, good enough look that you can only get in a place inhabited solely by males.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had begun cleaning with a vengeance. The mop was busy in the bathroom and kitchen, the windows were becoming fingerprint free, the wood was glowing from its dusting and oiling…and the smell was changing, loosing that slight aroma of boy.

Looking at the clock on the wall, I noticed it was 11:30. Most of the non-food oriented establishments in Diagon Alley closed at noon for a lunch break, andto the best of my knowledge,the joke shop would do likewise. I assumed that meant that the boys would be up to check on me then, and decided to have lunch waiting for them.

I had no sooner gotten out the fixings for a hearty lunch when I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs followed by the door opening.

"I'm in here!" I called from the kitchen. Momentarily, the twins, followed by their friends Lee Jordan, came into the kitchen.

"Hermione! What's all this?" Fred asked.

"Well, since I wasn't busy and I knew you were, I thought I'd get lunch ready. Hungry?" I asked.

They didn't even answer as they fell on the food. I could hardly contain a laugh at the sight of the three boys shoving sandwiches in their faces.

"Hermione, you can stay with us anytime!" Fred joked.

"I think I'm in love. And jealous. My houseguests never fix my lunch." Lee grinned at us.

"Well, this evening after you close, we should get some more supplies. I don't mind cooking at all, but I wanted to make something special for Christmas dinner. And I'd prefer not going alone…I need help carrying bags…"

Understanding my hesitancy, Fred piped in, "You're on!"

After eating about a half a dozen sandwiches, Fred and Lee excused themselves, heading back to the shop to get ready for the afternoon. George helped me carry dishes to the sink and put away the mustard and such.

"Hermione, I…it even smells better in here. You must have been busy this morning" George said, breaking the silence.

"Well, I gave me something to do. I promise I didn't pry into anything. I know how Ron is about his privacy…"

"Hermione," he started, "thank you for fixing lunch. For cleaning. For, well, everything. I…I want you to know you're welcome to stay here anytime. And you don't have to clean. Really. Just make yourself at home."

"Um, George, I was making myself at home. I clean at home, you know."

At this he blushed. "Well, OK, then, whatever. Well, I'll be back up in a bit. I really do need to get back down there…"

And with that, he left to join Fred and Lee.

I spent the afternoon making the flat into a place where a girl would be comfortable. I added curtains and plants; I cleaned the floors and added rugs. I organized. It was fun.

I then decided to fix dinner. Although the ingredients available were a bit limited, I cobbled together meatloaf and potatoes and peas, and made a cobbler for desert.

The twins came home to the smell of the apple cobbler and cinnamon and a clean flat. The looks on their faces were priceless.

After dinner and cobbler, we were sitting around the table, the twins telling me about their day. After a time, the conversation began to lag and I noticed the significant glances being sent back and forth between my erstwhile hosts.

"We were wondering if you've made any plans yet, Hermione? Have you thought about what you want to do? Or about contacting the ministry?" I glared at Fred.

"We were thinking that you might want to talk to Tonks, since she's an auror and deals with catching Death Eaters. And she's familiar…and she's been through a lot, herself…" I switched my glare to George. "Hermione, we won't make you…but, well, she'll understand and she'll have good ideas about what to do….beyond mine and Fred's that is, since we can't seem to get past using beater bats on numerous parts of his anatomy once we track him down…"

This made my glares stop, as I was too busy imagining how fun that would be….

All right. They were right. I knew it. And Tonks was cool…and she was a girl…maybe this was a good idea. Huh, a good idea from the twins. "Let me think about it while we shop for food. I like to cook, but I prefer having what I need to do it…"

"Um, Hermione, did you want to change first?" Fred asked carefully.

I looked down, realizing what I was wearing was pretty dirty from cleaning, and blushed. "Yeah, I guess so, give me a minute." I said as Iwent into George's room to change.


	5. The Big World Out There

**A/N: This fic is one I was thinking about before the HBP came out, but now it's sort of solidified. If you haven't yet read HBP (Shame on you) then be warned that there are spoilers here. There is also explicit and sometimes non-consensual sex and violence. If you are old enough and mature enough to deal with that, read on. Otherwise, don't blame me for ruining the book or hurting your psyches. Please review.**

**Thanks to:**

**Kichou: Again, for forever, thanks for reviewing…**

**Shi-Sha Hariken: Thanks, yes they are being rather sweet.**

**Dog-demon3: You don't have to comment. It's enough to know you're reading….**

**Griffyn: Thanks, hope you like…**

**mhsalien05: Thanks!**

**It's so nice to know someone is reading…it means a lot to an author when people review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. You all know that.**

* * *

I changed quickly into clean clothing, carefully picking clothing that was baggy and comfortable. I felt that clothing was my armor, protecting me from people being able to see what had happened to me. 

Stepping back into the kitchen, the twins smiled at me. "We don't think you're up to apperating yet. George is going to tandem apperate with you." Fred said matter-of-factly. George just nodded and held out his hand to me.

The evening passed quickly enough in shopping. We went to a muggle store, so we didn't run into anyone we knew. I was a little nervous being out in the big world, but overall, I think I did pretty well. There was one moment, where I saw this guy with really white blond hair, when I wasn't sure…but then George was there, telling me a joke, and when I looked again, I saw it was just a guy…

Once our shopping was done we headed out into the parking lot. The twins shrunk the cart and we all apperated back to their flat.

We were all pretty tired that night. The twins from their busy day of Christmas rush, and me from facing the world and all the cleaning. So we decided to get to bed early that night. Once again, George set up the cot next to the bed I was sleeping in while I got ready for bed.

* * *

The next few days passed more or less like the ones before them. The twins and Lee worked all day in the shop while I cleaned or cooked or read, never leaving the flat. 

Finally, the day before Christmas, I decided that I needed to face the world. I had not bought any Christmas presents for my friends yet, and it would be a scramble getting owls to them now…

So dressing in warm and baggy clothing, I headed downstairs after cleaning up the breakfast dishes.

"Fred," I said, as he was the first person I saw in the shop, "I am going shopping. I didn't want you all to worry about me. I'll be back later and we'll have lunch together."

"OK. I'll let George know. Are you sure you want to go alone, Hermione?" He looked uncertain.

"Yes, Fred. I'll be fine. There are a lot of people shopping today. Nothing bad will happen to me. I won't leave Diagon Alley…I'm not 11, you know."

"I know, Hermione. But George would kill if anything else happened to you….so would I…"

"Fred, really, I have to face the world sometime. I'm leaving to go back to Hogwarts in a week…" That's when it hit me. Hogwarts. Ron and Harry and Ginny. God, I was going to have to face them, too…and leave George…and Fred…oh, boy… "I'll be OK, Fred. I'll be back for lunch." And before I could change my mind, I left.

* * *

Outside the sun was shining and the light was reflecting off the white snow. There were a lot of children laughing and looking into the windows. I noticed there were a number of them looking longingly at the joke shop, but the mothers mostly hurried past it. Not that I could blame them…there were a number of things I wouldn't want my kids to have in that store if I were a mother...

My first stop was Quality Quidditch Supplies. Really, I could probably finish my shopping here, as most people on my list loved Quidditch...

Ron got a Cannons' hat, and Harry got a book on famous seekers, with all their statistics and the moves they were known for.

After that, I went to Madame Malkins' and got Ginny a hand painted shawl that she had been eyeing. It was done in the ancient Chinese fashion and had dragons painted on the silk that glimmered and moved like they were alive.

Now, I was in something of a quandry. I couldn't think of anything to get the twins.

I mean, they were doing quite well for themselves. So there was nothing they _needed_. I hadn't spent enough time with them..._before_...to really have any idea what they would _like_...

It had to be something special. Something that showed them how incredibally much I appreciated what they had done for me. Something as unique as they were...

You'd think, being a witch, living in the wizarding world where things muggles think are impossible are normal occurances, that there would be a number of options that would fit the bill. But, honestly, I couldn't think of a single one...

Sighing, I decided to head back to the flat, mail the gifts to Harry, Ron, and Ginny, and fix lunch. My shopping for the tiwns could wait until after lunch...

**A/N: I know this is short. I am moving tomorrow to another state and wanted to get something up before then. I think I should have the next chapter up within the week, but I can't promise. If you have something you think would make a perfect gift for the twins, put it in a review. I have some ideas, but would love to hear what you think, too...**


	6. Surprises

**A/N: This fic is one I was thinking about before the HBP came out, but now it's sort of solidified. If you haven't yet read HBP (Shame on you) then be warned that there are spoilers here. There is also explicit and sometimes non-consensual sex and violence. If you are old enough and mature enough to deal with that, read on. Otherwise, don't blame me for ruining the book or hurting your psyches. Please review.**

**I'm not going to do personal thanks this time, but if you reviewed, you should know you are loved.**

**I got several great gift ideas for the twins, and I am going to save them for the future. I was thinking about some of my favorite books this week as I was packing and unpacking from moving, and had an idea that I am stealing (sort of) from one of them. I got it, in part, from the Mage Winds series by Mercedes Lackey, who is my all time favorite author… (Sorry JKR…)**

* * *

**Surprises**

Walking into the joke shop was comforting.

Really, that's kind of strange. I mean, for most people in the wizarding world, the twins jokes are not synonymous with comfort. But for me, now, they are.

Fred was behind the counter when I came in, and he gave me a big smile.

"Hermione, how'd the shopping go?"

"Great, Fred, really great. I was wondering if I could borrow a couple of your delivery owls to send the presents?"

"Sure thing. Through the door on the right. Lee's back there now."

"OK. Then I'll go upstairs and fix lunch for you hard workers."

Heading through the indicated door, I saw a room with open windows along the ceiling with as many owls and empty roosts as the Hogwarts owlery. And right in the middle of the room was Lee, sweeping the floor and feeding some of the birds.

"Hey, Lee, can you help me get these packages off before I go fix lunch?"

"Sure thing, Hermione. How many packages total?"

"Three. Ginny, Harry, and Ron." As I said this, three large owls flew down and presented legs for me to attach the packages too.

Within a few moments, it was done and I was heading upstairs. After my morning in the cold, I decided I wanted some soup for lunch, so I went about in the kitchen fixing some toasted cheese sandwiches and tomato bisque.

Not long after, the twins and Lee headed up the stairs, grinning. Lee immediately went to the fridge and got out butter beers for everyone.

"You guys seem happy." I observed.

"Business is great. Holidays are great. Life is great. Food is extra great. What's not to smile about?" Lee was clearly in a _great_ mood.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Well, I have a bit more shopping to do this afternoon. The weather is a little cold, but it's nice and sunny. Perfect for the holidays."

"Yeah. Be careful out there today. The shoppers are a little rabid for some reason…." George looked a little apprehensive about me being out all day alone.

"I know how to deal with rabid shoppers, George," I said, grinning.

"Well, then, we should all head back down to the shop." Fred was looking at George with an strange look on his face. "See you tonight, Hermione."

With that, they all left. I spent a few minutes clearing the lunch dishes into the sink and thinking about what to get them.

It was then that I remembered seeing an ad in the Prophet for a new custom goblin-run jewelry store. I dug through a pile of paper until I found it…

**

* * *

"Need that perfect and unique gift for someone special?"**

_Obviously_.

**"Something personal crafted just for them?"**

_Duh…_

* * *

And then there were some pictures of rings and lockets. All different, all unique. One which especially intrigued me was of a set of rings that looked to contain hair.

Not knowing what I wanted, or even if I would find it there, I decided to be prepared. I went into the twin's bathroom and found their hair brushes. Carefully, I pulled a few hairs from each and wrapped them in silk bags. Sticking the bags in my pocket, I headed out to this new store.

* * *

Arriving there, it looked deserted. I walked carefully through the door and looked around. It didn't look like they were doing any real Christmas business like the rest of the shops on Diagon Alley. I wonder why?

Just then, I saw the goblin behind the counter. He was peering through a glass at a ruby the size of my fist. Still looking at the stone he said, "Can I help you?"

Nervous now, I stammer out, "I'm looking for gifts for my friends. I saw your ad in the Prophet." I noticed that my voice seemed to have gone up a notch. It sounded a bit squeaky to me.

"Hmmm, what kind of gift did you have in mind?" His eyes were sharp, I felt like he was looking at me as carefully as he had been examining the stone a moment before.

"Well, I say the rings in the picture, the ones that look like they have hair in them…and…I was wondering if you could tell me more about them?"

"You don't seem old enough to be getting married." He stated flatly.

"Oh…married…uh…no…"

"Those rings usually serve as wedding rings. Hair is taken from both the bride and groom and twisted together. The hair is then mounted on the decorated metal band and encased in crystal. It is then charmed with a warning charm so that if either party is ever in danger, the ring glows and gets warm."

"Do they always serve as wedding rings?" It sounded perfect. But not if they were always wedding rings. They didn't have that kind of relationship, after all…

"Well, no, not always. Sometimes really good friends get them for each other, too."

"Can more than two people share the rings?"

"Yes, as long as we have the hair to set the charm on."

Coming to a snap decision, I decided that they sounded perfect after all. "There are three of us. I have the other parties' hair here." Reaching into my pocket, I extracted the two silk packets and placed them on the counter. Then, trembling, I reached up and tugged three hairs from my own head and laid them down beside the packets.

"What metal would you like? The charm works best on titanium."

"Titanium, then, is fine." I was thinking about how the boys would react to these rings. I hoped they would understand how I felt about them, that they had somehow, in the last week, supplanted Ron and Harry as my best friends… "Oh, Hell, I forgot to get their ring sizes!" _How could I forget that!_

The goblin looked at me like I was crazy. "Ring sizes? You must be muggle-born. Fine wizarding jewelry is charmed to always fit perfectly."

I blushed, once again realizing how little I really knew about the wizarding world. I had never, after all, read a book on fine wizarding jewelry…

"Alright, then, when can I come back for them?" I wanted out of that shop. Goblins always made me nervous…

"They should be done by six o'clock tonight."

I nodded and left the store.

* * *

Six gave me several hours of time on my hands. I was thinking about going to the bookstore and browsing the new arrivals, when I heard a woman's voice calling my name. Turning around, I caught a glimpse of shockingly pink hair making its way towards me.

"Tonks!" I shouted back.

"Hermione! Good to see you. I was just finishing up my shopping, had a little bit of a holiday since the school's not in session, and decided to come into London. What do you say to a pint where it's warm? I'm about done and could use some refreshment."

"Sure, Tonks! Sounds good."

She took my arm and began leading me towards the Leaky Cauldron. I was almost to the door before I started feeling sick. "Um, can we gosomewhere else? I don't think I'm in the mood for the Leaky…"

She gave me a look.

I blanched.

"OK, Hermione. We can go somewhere else. And over that pint, you're going to tell me why we aren't having it here."

As she led me to the Dragon's Den, I was wondering how much of a coincidence my running into Tonks was. After all, the twins had been trying to get me to talk to her for a while. On the other hand, she was a friend, female, and used to dark wizards. She wasn't a mother figure. She was probably the best person for me to talk to…not that I had a choice now.

Over a pint of mulled mead, I told Tonks everything. Starting with my breakup with Ron, my need for space, coming to London alone for the holiday, running into the twins and making plans, and finishing with what had happened in my room at the Leaky Cauldron.

When I finished, tears were silently tracking down my cheeks, but I felt better. Talking about it with Tonks felt right. She wasn't jumping up to defend my honor, just listening to me. _It was a nice change from hot-headed boys_…

"Well, Hermione, as an auror, I think you need to report him. Then I can legally track him down. If you want, I'll make the report while I'm here, you don't even have to go in to the ministry. On the other hand, things could get sticky for you if you do report him. You should be aware of that. Things are always hard for women reporting a rape. Another option is to wait. Eventually, the twins, Ron, or Harry will track him down and probably beat him to death…then I'll have to track them down and arrest them. They'll get off, of course, on a temporary insanity charge, but it'll be a mark on their records if they ever want to work at the ministry. Well, it wouldn't matter for the twins…but it would still reflect badly on the rest of the Weasleys."

"Oh, God, I hadn't thought of all that. Tonks, I don't want my friends in trouble."

"Well, let me make the report, then. I have your story up here," she tapped her temple, "that way, if one of them finds him before I do, he's a wanted criminal, and I wouldn't have to arrest one of the boys for protecting you."

"Tonks, thanks."

"Hermione, you're not the first, you know, to have this happen to them. The twins didn't lie about that. You're the youngest, at least of the witches that we know about. But you're not the first."

Something in the way she said it made me wonder…and something in her eyes told me the truth of it. "Oh, Tonks…I've been so selfish. Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked at me, realizing that I had figured out her secret. "Well, there's not much to say. No one else knows, although I think the twins and Remus suspect something... Lucius attacked me, which is particularly gross since he's my uncle. At least it wasn't my first time." She smiled at that, a little sadly, but still a smile. "And as an auror, I'm a more acceptable target than you, since you are still in school. But still, Hermione, what you need to know is that rape is not about sex. It's about having power over someone else, and forcing them to do something they don't want to do. It's something that women always face in a war, because it hurts not only them, but the men in their lives who didn't protect them. At least, that's how men see it. The twins, Remus, Harry and Ron if you tell them, they feel like they failed to protect you, and so they failed you. It's a blow not only to you, but to them."

"Tonks, how many other women have been raped in this war that you know of? I know you can't give names, but I just want a ball park number…"

"I know of 23 witches, of whom you are the youngest. And another 78 muggles."

"Bastards." I was shocked.

"Yeah. Well, it's getting to be about dinner time. I need to head back to Hogsmead. If you need anything, let me know. I'll file the report tonight."

"OK. And Tonks, thanks again…"

With that, she disapperated and I headed back to the jewelry store.

* * *

The rings were beautiful. They had the hairs braided together and encased in crystal with a beautiful knot work pattern worked into the metal. I smiled when I saw them. Paying an exorbitant amount of money, I took the three small boxes and headed back to the flat.

I secreted the boxes under the mattress in George's room where I had been sleeping, and went into the kitchen to fix dinner.

I decided to keep dinner simple, since tomorrow I would be cooking a lot, so I fixed a large pot of spaghetti.

Right on queue, the twins came clumping up the stairs. Clearly they were tired. It had been a long and busy day for them.

"Looking forward to having a bit of a break tomorrow." Fred looked exhausted.

"Christmas season has been good to us, though. Got lots of orders from overseas…and from Hogwarts students." George was smiling.

"George, look, she made spaghetti!"

"Haven't had spaghetti since Hogwarts" George said, looking at me. "Mom doesn't like spaghetti."

"Ah."

I wasn't really feeling too talkative. I was a bit talked out. Although as the carbohydrates entered my blood stream, I felt a renewed energy.

"Ran into Tonks today" I said as conversation was stopped while everyone chewed.

Fred and George looked at each other, then at me.

"She's making a report tonight" I said looking back at them before dropping my eyes to my plate.

"Good." This was George. "Now it's official that he's a slimy git and we'll be heroes when we track him down."

"You're already heroes to me."

I was flustered. Quickly, I rose from the table, put my plate in the sink, and left the room.

* * *

Standing in the hall, I could still hear them talking.

"I'm glad she talked to Tonks."

"Me, too. Do you think Tonks told her everything?"

"Yeah, I do. Do you think she'll be able to heal now?"

"I think she's already healed, George. You did a good job with the healing spells."

"That's not what I meant. I mean, do you think she'll heal emotionally? She mostly seems like her old self, but then, she says something and runs off."

There was a sigh. "I don't know George. I'm no expert on the long term effects of rape. She doesn't seem like she's going to break anymore, though…I imagine she'll be OK eventually. It'll take some time."

"I think she's worth waiting for." This last was said very quietly. "I think I'm falling in love with her."

There was a moment of silence at this.

"Take it slow, George. Real slow."

"Yeah, I already figured."

"She'll get through this. We'll get through this."

"Thanks Fred."

I heard the floor creak, and decided I didn't want to be caught eavesdropping. I hurried to the bathroom and shut the door, turning on the water.

Now I had even more to think about.

**

* * *

**

**OK, Guys, read and review...please and thanks!**


	7. Dilema

**A/N: You guys are great. I'm glad you all like this story. I think before long you may hate me, but that'll be OK, too… I have had some people mention that this is a touchy subject. I want to say that I agree. My BA is in Women's Studies with a specialization in violence against women. I worked in a crisis center for a while (a long while….).**

**One of the things I noticed was that when women were raped, especially in a really violent context, they'd often have one of 2 responses. Either they would never want to be touched again, or they would go the other route in an attempt to regain control of their sexuality. I haven't decided yet which route our Hermione is going to take in the story. Either way, there will be trouble for poor George…**

**I would also like to ask if there is someone who would be willing to be a beta for me? I don't always catch my own gramatical errors...please email me if you're interested...**

**The usually disclaimers apply; I don't own the characters…**

* * *

"I think she's worth waiting for." This last was said very quietly. "I think I'm falling in love with her." 

There was a moment of silence at this.

"Take it slow, George. Real slow."

"Yeah, I already figured."

"She'll get through this. We'll get through this."

"Thanks Fred."

I heard the floor creak, and decided I didn't want to be caught eavesdropping. I hurried to the bathroom and shut the door, turning on the water.

Now I had even more to think about.

* * *

_George was falling in love with me?_

_Oh God, now what am I going to do?_

He'd been sleeping in the same room with me for a week. He and Fred were becoming my best friends, even more than Ron and Harry.

Granted, he'd been a perfect gentleman to me. He certainly hadn't tried anything….inappropriate.

_I wonder what it would be like with George? He was certainly popular at school..._

_Hermione! What are you thinking! It's GEORGE! Besides, what the hell would RON say!_

I sighed. Why the hell did I care what Ron said. We both had to move on. Maybe then we could be friends again... Quietly opening the bathroom door, I snuck across the hall to the room I had been sharing with George. Another week and I'd be heading back to school. Back to Harry and Ron and Ginny. Away from the twins. At least Malfoy wasn't at school these days. But his friends were...I'd have to be extra careful around the Slytherins..._slimy bastards_...

I opened the door to George's room and walked in. Pulling the covers down from the bed, I fluffed up the pillow. Seeing that the bed was ready, I walked to my trunk to select pajamas. I pulled out a pair of boxers and a tank that I had found so comfortable over the summer, although it was a lot less than I had been wearing lately. I quickly changed, dropping my worn clothing into the hamper. At least I knew George would knock before coming into the room. He had gotten really careful about that since the shower incident. Pulling out a brush, I sat on the side of the bed and proceeded to brush my hair, noticing it was getting pretty long.

A few minutes later I heard a soft tap on the door.

"Hermione? You decent?" I heard George calling through the door.

"Yes, George, come on in."

The door creaked open and George entered the room. He looked at me as I was sitting on the bed and I noticed a faint blush creeping over his cheeks. Turning his back to me he began to get his stuff ready for bed. Within a few minutes he had the cot set up and grabbed his own pajamas. He turned to me and smiled. "Be right back, I'm going to change." I noticed his blushes had faded a bit.

"OK. I'm ready for bed whenever you are" I answered him.

I got up and put my brush back in the trunk and was just getting back to the bed when he returned.

"So, Hermione...ready for me to turn out the lights?"

"Yes George" I said as I slid my legs under the covers. I could barely feel the three small boxes under the mattress.

George used his wand to put out the light.

"Goodnight, George" I said into the sudden darkness.

"Goodnight, Hermione. Sweet dreams." George replied with a yawn. It had, after all, been a long day for the twins in the shop.

I as lay awake thinking about my day of shopping and eavesdropping, I became aware of George's soft snores coming from the other side of the room.

What was I going to do? Was George really falling in love with me? Did I want that? I mean, he was kind and gentle. Under other circumstances, my answer would have been an unqualified YES! But now? With everything happenning? Everything I needed to sort out? I don't know if I wanted that.

Could I trust him not to hurt me? On the one hand, this is George. George who has taken care of me. Healed me. Seen me at my worst and most vulnerable... On the other hand, this is George, half owner in a practical joke shops, whose pranks are legend at school...

After awhile, I noticed my thoughts were still very random and confused. Well, I'm not deciding anything like this tonight.

And with George's soft snores as background, I was gently soothed into sleep.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is very short, I know, but I wanted to get my request for a beat out there. The next chapter is going to deal with Christmas. I have the polt figured out through New Years, and since my Mom is leaving tomorrow (she's been helping me move...) I should have more time to write...**


	8. Christmas

**Christmas **

* * *

I awoke slowly to a quiet room. Stealing a glance at the cot in front of the closet, I noticed that the occupant was already gone, the bedclothes rumpled, pajamas carelessly tossed on the floor. 

Yawning, I woke up, again feeling the boxes I had hidden under the mattress.

Christmas.

I went over to my trunk and rummaged through it until I had found my brush and a hair tie. Quickly, I pulled my hair back in a tail. Tossing my brush back in my trunk, I went back to the mattress and extracted the three boxes.

Padding silently to the door, I opened it and headed out into the living room. The twins were sitting in front of a Christmas tree, sipping a morning cup of coffee. Apparently, the twins had found coffee a superior substitute for tea in the morning on a trip to France to visit Fleur with Bill.

"Morning, Hermione" Fred said with a sleepy grin.

"Morning, Fred…George. When did you get a tree?"

"I set it up last night after you two went to bed" Fred answered. He smirked at George who I then noticed was blushing again.

"It's a lovely tree, Fred." I was smiling. Now it really felt like Christmas to me. What is it about decorations that make the Holiday?

"Now that you're up, shall we open our presents?" George asked.

"You didn't have to wait for me, you know." I was unsure why they had, after all, Ron and Harry never did.

The first thing we opened were presents from Mrs. Weasley. "Did you guys tell her I was staying with you?" I was confused…and concerned. I hadn't thought anyone would tell my secret.

"No, she sent them by owl, and the owl must have found you" Fred answered.

I noticed that George was being really quiet this morning and looked at him curiously. "You OK, George? You're being kind of quiet."

"I'm fine Hermione. Just not awake yet."

All three of us opened our presents from Mrs. Weasley at the same time. As usual, we all got sweaters. Fred's and George's were both matching (of course) and knitted of a lovely, soft, deep blue. Mine was a rich golden brown. There were also several kinds of cookies that she had baked that smelled delicious.

We all smiled and pulled our new sweaters on, although I quickly began to feel too warm and pulled it back off.

As I was tugging it back over my head, the hem caught on my tank and pulled it along with the sweater, exposing a fair bit of skin before I noticed the breeze and pulled my tank back down. When I finally got untangled from the sweater I noticed that once again George was blushing, although he wasn't looking at me…

Next I opened my present from Ginny, which was a pair of earrings with beautifully enameled dragon charms that she had apparently found at the dragon reserve gift shop. As I put them in, I noticed that the dragons moved to curl up against my ears. It was then I noticed that there had been a note included in the package.

_Hermione-_

_I thought these earrings were really cool and decided to get us matching pairs. They curl up around your ears and keep them warm in winter. Better than earmuffs! See you next week. Hope your Christmas is going well._

_Miss you,_

_Ginny_

"Nice earrings." Fred grinned at me. I noticed he had opened a few more presents from his siblings. I looked at George and saw he was a little slower than his twin at making a dent in his stack.

"Thanks. Your sister has great taste."

"Yeah, she always has. In everything but boys."

"Any boy in particular you didn't like, Fred?"

"I didn't like any of them…at least not while they were dating my kid sister!"

I chuckled at this. Harry and Ron had gotten me books, of course.

Harry's book was on traditions in the wizarding world. I decided this would be useful. Maybe it wouldhelp me escape some social blunders. Especially if I wanted to work for the Ministry after graduation. Assuming there still was a Ministry by then and Voldemort hadn't completely destroyed the wizarding world.

Even after six and a half years, I still felt like an outsider in the wizarding world. There were so many things that people raised in it took for granted. I know Harry felt the same.

Ron's present to me was a book of charms for witches. This seemed a little out of character for Ron. But then, I think he was confused about me (and girls in general)in a lot of ways. I mean, we were best mates, so when we were dating, things were really awkward. I couldn't tell if this gift was supposed to be an acknowledgement of my being a girl, or a put down on my lack of girliness… It was certainly a book I had never read before. Maybe that was the point. He wanted to be sure to get a book I hadn't yet read? I didn't know if I would ever use any of the charms in this book. A lot of them were for make-up or hairstyling. There was a shaving charm, too, I noticed as I flipped through. Oh…a section of contraceptive charms…was he trying to hint at something?

"What the hell book is that?" George was leaning over my shoulder looking at Ron's present.

Quickly, I shut it, hoping he didn't seem me lingering in the section on contraceptive charms. "Ron's gift was a book of things girls should know about like make-up charms. I guess he doesn't think I'm feminine enough…"

"Nonsense, Hermione. You're just you, and fine the way you are. Ron's a prat, you know. You shouldn't take him too seriously about stuff like that…he's totally clueless about girls..." Fred was sniggering at Ron's gift as he handed me a large box from my parents.

I opened the box carefully since it seemed quite heavy. Removing the lid, I began lifting out new clothing. Usually, I didn't worry much about clothes. If they were clean and fit, they were fine. I liked having a few nice outfits for when I really wanted to dress up, but generally, I just wanted to be comfortable.

Then I remembered a conversation I'd had with my mother last summer about how I needed to start dressing nicely as I would soon be graduating and on the job market. I needed a new look to make a good impression. It was after that discussion that I had bought the bottle of potion to tame my hair.

The clothing she had sent me for Christmas was a combination of some new, fun, trendy stuff of the type I usually avoided but that Ginny and Lavender and Pavarti all loved, and a couple of serious looking business suits which would look smashing under the new dress robes in the very bottom of the box.

I guess this is a hint…both from Mum and Dad, and from Ron. I need to act more grown up and more womanly. I need to take back control of my life…

Carefully, I folded the clothing and put it back in the box to take back to the bedroom to be packed in my trunk for school.

"This one's from me." Fred smiled.

I opened it to find a..well..I wasn't sure what it was. It seemd to be a tee-shirt. But with Fred, it was never safe to assume.

"Our latest invention. Mood clothes. When you wear them, they change color based on your body temperature and pulse and blood pressure, as well as your pheremones. Tells the world what kind of mood you're really in. Especially great on dates. We are thinking about making them occasion appropriate. Got the idea from those muggle mood rings...and improved on them a bit, of course...there's a simple charm that allows you to select what range of moods you want to display...directions are in the box."

"Huh, thank's Fred. If I ever what to be totally at the mercy of the world and wear my feelings _literally_ on my sleeve, I'll be sure to wear it..." I wasn't really sure what to make of this gift...

Fred and George had finished opening their presents, but there was still a small box under the tree.

When I had finished putting my gifts away, George reached under the tree and pulled out the box.

With a slight hesitation, he handed it to me. He looked at me with a nervous smile as he watched me open it.

Nestled inside was a gold medallion on a chain. Looking at the figures pictured on it, I noticed that it was a religious medallion. The lettering was in Arabic. It showed a young man slaying a dragon.

"I got that when I was traveling in Egypt for the shop. St. George is one of the catholic eastern rite saints. Apparently he killed a dragon. I got the medallion because of his name, and because I liked it as a souvenir. But I decided to give it to you. I hoped you'd wear it and think of me. Especially with the play on names…. you know… Draco-Dragon? I'd be happy to kill that dragon…"

I don't think I'd ever heard George ramble quite this badly.

"George, it's perfect. Would you?" I asked him as I handed him the necklace. I turned around and lifted my hair, presenting my neck for him to hook the necklace clasp. I noticed he seemed to be trembling as he encircled my neck with first his arm, then the necklace.

Once it was hooked, I looked at it closely, and smiling, turned to George and gave him a big hug. "I love it."

Sitting back down, I pulled the matching boxes from the table beside the chair I had been sitting in. I handed one to Fred and one to George.

They both looked at me and opened their boxes, and then both of their jaws dropped as they removed the handcrafted rings. I giggled, seeing their matching expressions.

"You guys know, well, you have become my best mates. Even more than Harry and Ron. I feel so close to you. And while I know I can never really repay you for everything this last week, I wanted to give you both a token of how much you mean to me. There is a hair in each of those rings from all three of us. If any of us are ever in danger, the rings will glow. They're charmed. I…well…I hope you like them…and don't think I'm being too forward or pushy…."my voice trailed off…

"Hermione, they're….amazing. I have never seen anything like them… I don't even know what to say…" Fred was speechless.

"Mark this day on the calendar, I don't think I've ever seen Fred speechless before!" I said with a laugh.

George was just looking at me. Meeting his eyes, I smiled. I put on my own ring and walked over to him.

"I'm going to change into some of my new clothes, and then start cooking our Christmas dinner. Thanks again for the medallion." I gave him a hug. A moment later, he hugged me back. Smiling up into his blue eyes, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Turning, I smiled at Fred and saw him give me a small wink beforeI left, heading for the door.

As I scampered out of the room, I didn't notice that George's eyes never left me, or that his hand went to his cheek where I had brushed my lips against it. Fred did, though.

"George, remember, take it slow…" was all he said.

* * *

I did my best to make it a Chrsitmas Dinner to remember. Many of the dishes I made were traditional for my family, and I made them in the muggle way, since the twins had a fairly well equipt kitchen. Some things, though, I did with magic like I had learned from Mrs. Weasley. 

This morning after I had left Fred and George to put away their presents, I had changed into one of the new outfits from my parents. It was a little tighter and lower cut than anything I would usually wear. It felt especially strange in comparison to the baggier clothing I had been wearing since..._it_...happened. The soft brown pants were quite snug, almost to the point of uncomfortable, and were cut to cling to my hips, although they were loose and flared out a bit over my calf muscles. The red shirt I selected (it was Christmas, after all) was also quite tight. Much to my dismay, I found that when ever I stretched up to reach something in the cabinets over the counter that my navel was exposed. The fabric the shirt was made of, though, was very comfortable; soft and easy to move in. Even if it was low cut and clung to my curves.

Ah well, I did feel more grown up in my new clothes.

The twins were busy playing with their gifts and relaxing on their day off, and so didn't see me until I called them in to eat.

"Guys, dinner is ready!" I called them.

I heard them coming. A moment later, the door opened and the twins burst into the room.

"Hermione! You out did yourself! This looks delicious!" Fred was clearly excited. Apparently, Fred is a typical man, the way to his heart is through his stomach.

"I think you could rival our mother!" George said, also lavish in his praise.

I blushed at their effusiveness. "Well, let's eat." We all sat down and started passing dishes of rolls and potatos, creamed spinich and carrots, and of course the traditional leg of lamb with mint jelly. Once we'd had our fill and cleared the table, I brought out the desert course of cream puffs, a bouche de noel, and plum pudding, which Fred flamed for me. Again we ate until not another bite would fit down our throats.

At this point, the three of us stumbled into the living room and returned to our seats from earlier. George poured us each a brandy, and taking a small sip, I relaxed into the warmth and comfort that is only present in the company of good friends, a good meal, and a comfortable chair. None of us felt any need to talk. We just sat in compaionable silence, looking at the tree. It was the most relaxed I'd been in a week. Probably in more than a week, actually. I felt really good for a change. The twins also seemed to be relaxing. Before long, Fred was dozing. He had, after all, stayed up late the night before putting up the tree.

"George, I'm going to bed now. Should we wake Fred?"

"No, he'll wake up on his own. I have learned never to awaken him unless there is an emergency."

"Oh. Okay, then." I stood up, noticing the George's eyes never left me. But instead of heading to the door, I gave in to my impulse, probably brought on by the brandy, and slowly walked over to him instead. I decided, in the minute, that I was not going to play the denial game that Ron and I had enjoyed for 6 years.

When I reached his chair, I bent down so that we were face to face. Looking directly into his deep blue eyes, I whispered "Happy Christmas, George," before brushing my lips against his in a hint of a kiss. Straightening back up, I smiled down at him before turning and walking from the room. I walked into the bedroom and took my pajamas out, going back into the bathroom to change. A few moments later I emerged, returning to the bedroom, to find it still empty.

Well, that was going to all the hints he'd get. If he were interested, he'd have to take the next step himself. After all, he had always been brave enough to do so with girls at school. I can't imagine that he was less capable now that he was out of school and an adult (well, legally, anyway...).

Sighing, I climed into bed, pulled up the covers, and using my wand, turned out the lights.

* * *

**A/N: Hoped you liked it. I don't know how long the next chapter will take. **

**Celeste Noir, if you're serious about betaing, please send me an email. My email is on my profile page. I tried to get yours, but it bounced...**

**The next chapter is going to be the New Years Chapter, and will likely contain some sexual content. SO if you don't want to read it, be warned... **

**Thanks for all the reviews, you guys sure know how to stroke a girls ego...**


	9. Preparing for New Years

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Sorry this took so long. I have been moving and getting started with school. Please review.**

**New Years Eve**

The week after Christmas flew past.

Have you ever noticed that when you are dreading something, time speeds up? I, for perhaps the first time, didn't want to go back to school. In a week and a half, my view of home had changed. No longer did I think longingly of the castle where I had spent the last 6 and a half years. No. Nor was home the place I had grown up with my parents. Home could never be in the muggle world again.

That's really the problem with being muggle-born. It's not that we aren't as capable as someone whose linage goes back to the beginnings of recorded history in the wizarding world. That's obvious. After all, look at Neville…

It's really that once we leave our loving muggle parents, we don't fit. At least not until we are all grown up and have a family of our own. Or at least until we're out of school and have a home of our own.

At the moment I'm felling really lost and adrift. Not alone, precisely. I have the twins and Ginny, Ron and Harry (for whatever good they'll do me…) and the rest of the friends I've made in Gryffindor. I'm not alone.

Damn it. I'M NOT ALONE!

But still, lonely.

New Years Eve. A time for renewal. For starting over. For deciding what changes I really want to see happen in my life.

The morning of New Years Eve I got up as usual and went to the kitchen to start breakfast. All week George and I had been in this strange state of avoiding each other and yet spending as much time as possible together. The tension was making me crazy. And I'm pretty sure I wasn't alone in my insipient insanity.

Fred and George were both in the kitchen reading over a stack of papers that looked like orders.

"Eggs and bacon this morning?" I asked.

"Great" said Fred, not even looking up.

I got out the skillet and began making eggs and frying bacon. Just as I was about done, two owls arrived with mail.

"Hey, Hermione, this ones for you" George said after opening the window for the birds. It was a medium sized owl I didn't recognize.

Opening the letter, I noticed it was in my mother's hand writing.

_Hermione-_

_We hope this finds you well. Your father and I have decided to extend our vacation and attend a conference, seeing as it's in the same city as your Grandmother. We'll be back in London early February._

_Let us know if you need anything._

_Mum_

"Apparently the parents have decided to stay out of London a while longer." I said to the twins.

"Hermione, have you thought about what you wanted to do for New Years tonight?" Fred asked.

"Honestly, Fred, no, I haven't."

"Well, we were thinking about meeting some friends at a club tonight to ring in the New Year, and well, we were wondering if you'd like to join us…" George said, making eye contact for a very brief moment.

"That sounds lovely" I said with a smile. "Which friends?"

"Angelina and her older sister. Lee. A couple of guys who graduated before you started at Hogwarts." Fred answered.

"Sounds like a great time. Please eat your eggs, Fred, they won't be good cold."

"Yes, Mummy" Fred said, poking fun at me.

After they finished their breakfast, the twins went down to their shop while I cleaned up the mess I had made.

The whole day I thought about that evening. I wanted to wear some of my new clothing, I wanted to look grown up and nice. But as excited as I was, I was also scared. I wanted George to notice me that night. I wanted to see his jaw drop. I wanted to dance with him and feel his arms around me. But I didn't want him to hurt me.

I know that I'm being silly. He wouldn't hurt me. Not on purpose, anyway. But what if he didn't feel the same way. I got butterflies in my tummy every time I locked eyes with him. I could talk to him for hours.

A week ago, on Christmas, I had thought he felt the same.

Then I kissed him.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe that kissed proved to him he didn't feel that way about me.

Maybe he was just biding his time till I left so he didn't feel like he was going to hurt me.

I think I need to talk to Fred.

The morning passed with my thoughts and soon it was time for lunch.

I went into the kitchen and fixed soup and sandwiches, still thinking about my expectations (hopes?) for the evening.

Momentarily, footsteps came clumping up the stairs.

"Busy today. Lots of people getting last minute supplies for tonight!" Fred was clearly happy with this upswing in business.

"That's great!" I was trying to be enthusiastic for them, get my mind off of things…

Both of the twins looked at me funny. I guess I didn't fool them. Lunch passed pretty fast and pretty quietly. Apparently they hadn't had a chance to sit all morning.

George finished up first, and, with a smile, headed back down the stairs. Taking this as a sign from above, I sat down across from Fred and cleared my throat.

"Fred, can I talk to you a minute?" I asked.

"Sure, Hermione…" Fred looked a little nervous. This is a little worrisome in one of the Weasley twins…

"Fred, what's going on?"

"Um…I'm not sure I follow you, Hermione. Going on with what?"

"With George. He's been acting…distant…since Christmas. I, well, I thought he might be starting to like me a bit, and now…well, it's like he doesn't want to be around me at all. He never talks to me…I just don't know what to think. I…well…I kind of kissed him a week ago, and ever since then…he's almost been avoiding me. If he's not interested, he should just say so…or something…" I trailed off…

"Oh. I see. Hermione, if I know George, and I do, pretty well, I think he does like you." Fred was grinning. "Yes, indeed, pretty sure of that. He just, well…" he trailed off… "I think he doesn't want to hurt you. He's worried about you. You just had something awful happen to you. He doesn't want to rush you. He doesn't want to just be someone you are with to be safe. He wants to be someone you want to be with. At least, that's what I think is happening. He hasn't said it, exactly, but…well…he is acting strange. That's the only thing that makes sense."

"Fred, I do want to be with him."

"Give it time, Hermione. Don't rush it. Whether you want to admit it or not, you have some things to work through. George isn't going to hold them against you. So take your time. I don't want to see either of you get your hearts broken. Now, I am going back to work. I'll talk to him. Discreetly. And see if he'll open up. Tonight, just try and relax and have some fun."

"Alright. I'll be ready when you guys get up here. What time are we leaving."

"The store is staying open until 9 tonight. We'll head out around 10."

"Alright. Are you guys taking a dinner break?"

"No, probably not. We'll eat out tonight."

I spent the afternoon picking out clothes. I decided to wear some of the new clothes my mother had gotten me for Christmas. I dug out some black pants that clung to my hips and paired them up with the slinky, low-cut, clingy black knit shirt. I found the new black boots my mother had gotten me at the start of term and decided to go all-out if the femme fatale look.

Taking my new clothing with me I went in the bathroom to take a shower. I turned the water on as hot as it would go and spent a few minutes drowning my confusion in shampoo. I decided to use the new shower gel Ginny had gotten me for my birthday last year. It smelled wonderful; my favorite flowers were lilacs and the shower gel reminded me of spring.

Once I felt thoroughly clean, I got out and dried off on a big fuzzy bath towel. Using the matching body lotion I saturated my skin and the smell spring. Turning my attention to my hair, I proceeded to work out that tangles using liberal amounts of Sleek Easy hair potion.

Scented and coiffed, I decided the New Year's Eve called for a more dramatic look than I usually wore in my makeup. Carefully, I shaped my eyebrows into delicate arches. I brushed powder over my face, blending my complexion. Fortunately, I had never had the normal adolescent woes of bad skin, but my nose did tend to shine. I applied blushed lightly my cheeks. I decided and to play up my eyes, gently dusting my eyelids with a soft green to bring out the catlike flecks before lining them with a soft smoky black. My eyelashes got a quick coat of mascara. I smiled at my reflection, I hardly ever wore makeup like this. If only Harry and Ron could see me like this, well, frankly I don't think it recognize me. I did not look like a mousy wallflower tonight. To finish off my makeup I chose a soft chocolate brown let's take made in the wizard in world. It actually tasted like fudge. I'd have to remember not to lick it off myself.

Quickly, I put on some lingerie I had rarely worn before. It was red and lacey and very un-Hermione like. I felt a little strange in this red lace push-up bra. I wasn't sure why I was even wearing it. It was a bra made to be seen, and I wasn't planning for anyone to see it but me. The knickers were the same, meant for that special someone, who apparently was afraid of hurting me.

I pulled stockings on that stopped just above my knees. The black pants slid up my thighs and fastened low on my hips, although they were loose from the knee down to accommodate boots. The shirt, once I pulled it on, was cut so low that it barely covered the cups of my bra. It did however, make one thing abundantly clear. I was no little girl. Looking in the mirror was like seeing myself for the first time.

I opened the door to the bathroom and headed into the bedroom or I quickly checked the time. It was about eight o'clock, almost time for the twins to finish at the shop. I grabbed one of the new books I had gotten to read for fun, and headed into the living room to wait for their return.

I was just getting into my book when their footsteps on the stairs told me that they had close the shop for the night.

Bursting through the door, the two redheads ran into their respective bedrooms, clearly getting ready for a fun night on the town.

Momentarily, they came out of their rooms, dressed as usual in almost identical clothing. Together, they came into the living room to finally sitting in one of the comfy chairs with my book. Often they do things at the same time, and this is no exception, as their jaws dropped to their chest. Apparently, the twins like what they saw.

"Hermione! What are you wearing? You look great!" Said Fred.

"Thanks, Fred. These are just some of the clothes my mom got me for Christmas. I hope they're appropriate for tonight." I answered.

"They're perfect." Said Fred.

"Shall we go then?" Said George, as he offered me a hand out of the chair. I accepted and he pulled me up. He placed my hand on his elbow as if he were claiming me, and led me to the door.

When we were all standing in a group in front of the door, the twins grinned at each other before smiling at me, and apparated us as a group to Angelina's, where we apparently were meeting the rest of the group.

Everyone all seemed already be there, as lots of hugging, handshaking, and backslapping ensued.

Angelina came over to me grinning from ear to ear. "Hermione! I haven't seen you in ages. You look great!"

"You look great to Angelina! I'm so glad we're going to be able to spend New Year's Eve together!"

Once we all sorted out who knew who, who wanted to see who, and who missed who, we got on our way to the club. Someone had decided that it would be fun to spend New Year's Eve at a Muggle club. So the group apparated to the Leaky Cauldron and headed into Muggle London for our night on the town.

A/N: I am sorry this took so long to update. I hope to be more frequent in the future. I was going to keep going, but decided this was a good place to start. I am not totally happy with this one, but...well...life has been pretty stressful. Anyway, I'm going to get the next one up soon, I promise, and it should be good...hm...


	10. At the Club

**Disclaimer: JKR owns at all.**

**At the Club**

I wasn't sure how a group of young witches and wizards would blend at a Muggle club. Having grown up in a Muggle family, I had a driver's license and regular identification papers, but I didn't know if the rest of the group was prepared. While we were standing in line at the door, I was quickly disabused of my concerns. I should have trusted that the people who had always thrown the parties in Gryffindor would know exactly what was needed to have fun and Muggle London.

When we arrived at the front of the line, the bouncer gave me a second look, probably because I look so young. After a moment's consideration he let me pass and I had my first look at a nightclub.

The club was dark and smoky and crowded. Given how dark it was I was surprised to see a number of colored lights flashing on and off from the ceiling at least four stories up. I noticed the club had no windows. Clearly it was an old converted warehouse. The flashing beams of light eerily lit the swirling clouds of smoke. The music was loud with a strong techno rhythm. I could feel the throbbing of the base against my skin, affecting my very heart beat, taking over my subconscious, and propelling me to move with it.

I felt wild and free. I didn't need drugs or alcohol, the music was affecting me all by itself.

I noticed the group I had come with splitting up. Fred and Angelina seemed to find each others company quite pleasant and were already moving in rhythm to each other. Lee had immediately moved closer the middle of the dance floor and was dancing by himself, although he was quickly attracting a crowd of observers. The others, who I didn't know so well, had also split up into couples and were dancing or heading off to the bar to get drinks. George however had stayed right beside me, a questioning look on his face, as if he wanted to know if I wanted to dance but realized how hard it would be to be heard over the music.

I graced him with the biggest smile that had been on my face since that horrible afternoon at the Leaky Cauldron. Gently, I reached out and take a stand, surprised at my own audacity, and drew him after me onto the dance floor. He smiled back and followed me with no resistance. George never struck me as the dancing type, so I was a little surprised at how readily he acquiesced.

Once we found ourselves in the midst of the crowd, I dropped his hand and started to groove with the music. Dancing together, and yet keeping our distance, we spent an enjoyable few minutes warming up. I was surprised at how good a dancer George was. I was even more surprised at how the dancer I was. I mean, not like dance in the middle of a circle while everyone looks on clapping and cheering good, but definitely not step on my partners toes and embarrass everyone around me for my complete ineptitude bad either.

Rather, I found that George and I moved together, in a strange compatible way the just felt right. Maybe the reason I had never thought myself a good dancer had less to do with me and more to do with a lack of connection I had ever felt with my partners.

After a while I started to notice a growing thirst. Once again I reached for George's hand, but this time I went into the bar. Walking along the counter I finally found a bartender available and ordered a rum and coke.

"Doing something to drink?" I asked him.

"I've never had Muggle drinks before, other than beer. Strange, isn't it? We always stuck to beer. What do you recommend?"

"Do you want to try mine?"

"Sure." He said, reaching for my glass. He took a quick sip. "Hey, that is really good!" A broad smile had formed on his face. Turning to the bartender he said, "I'll take the same."

He handed the bartender some money and took his change without counting it.

This time he took my hand and led me behind the bar to a room barely visible. It had some soft seating groups and the noise from the dance floor was less. Why you couldn't have a comfortable conversation here, you didn't have to scream like you did on the floor.

"So are you having fun, Hermione?"

"Yes George, this place is great. I never would have thought I would have this much fun at the dance club."

"You're good dancer." George said, not looking me in the eyes.

"I never thought of myself that way. I think I just so comfortable with you, free to move as a moment takes me. Does that make sense?"

"It does, Hermione. I hope you always feel that way."

He was looking at me now. I could see strong emotions in his eyes, but I couldn't tell if they were for me or about me. Protectiveness, yes. But as a sister? A friend? Had Fred been right? Was I brave enough to try and find out?

I took a last swig of my drink, and placing the cup on a nearby table, I stood up. "I am going back to the dance floor. I you ready, or do you want to sit in here for awhile longer?"

"I'll be out in a few minutes, I'm going to finish my drink." George said.

"Find me when you're done." I said, walking away back towards the crowd on the floor.

I quickly found myself lost in the crowd. Bodies and limbs were swirling all around me and time at the music, creating a wall of throbbing moving humanity. Finding a spot of open floor that was not in the very middle and yet not on the margin, I claimed it for my own, losing myself in a trance of movement and sound.

After a while I felt a hand brush across my back, settling gently at my waist. The touch created a spot of warmth obvious against my skin. A second hand closed on my other hip. Together, they began moving me to of new rhythm, slightly different to the one I had allowed to settle into my body. I quickly adjusted, feeling the hands grow more insistent. I felt the person's body nestle against me from behind, not grinding, but moving insistently together nonetheless. I felt his breath hot on my neck, tickling my ear, sending a shiver down my spine and making my skin break out in goosebumps. A moan, more felt than heard, escaped my lips, much too quiet to be heard over the loud music.

"Do you like that?" A voice said to me from behind.

It took a moment for me to register that while I recognized the voice, it wasn't the one I was expecting.

"Get off me you filthy bastard!" I yelled, for once totally audible over the music. Ripping away from him, I spun around to face the last person I ever wanted to see again.

Facing me, his platinum blond hair hardly mussed from dancing, stood Draco Malfoy, smirking that loathsome Malfoy smirk.

Of all the people that I could've run into in a Muggle club, Malfoy was the least expected, the least welcome, and the most upsetting.

Before I could even react, someone else beat me to it. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw a red-haired blur come streaking to my rescue. Malfoy never even knew what hit him, toppling over so fast that I was sure he'd have a matching set of bruises, one for his jaw, and one or the back of his skull had connected with the concrete dance floor.

"George, get me out of here" I said. I don't know if he heard me over the music, or if you just knew that's what I'd want, but it had barely left my mouth before he took my arm and gently let me towards the door.

"Let me just find Fred and let him know what's going on."

I didn't argue, I just grabbed his arm as tight as I could since the last thing I could stand was the thought of being separated. He'd saved me, again.

It didn't take long to find Fred, as he was a whirl of arms and legs and hair, and people gave him quite a bit of free space. It seemed that he intimidated the other dancers and no one wanted to get too close lest they be whacked.

I didn't hear what George said to Fred, but I definitely heard Fred's response of, "I'll kill that mother-fucker!" Again, I didn't hear what George said, but the effect was obvious that Fred took a deep breath, nodded, and disappeared into the crowd.

"Come on, let's get the hell out of here." George said to me.

Again, leading me by the arm, we headed towards the door.

Leaving the club was like stepping from hell into the Arctic Circle. It was freezing outside after the hot sweaty club. Frankly, it was exactly what I needed to knock some sense back into me and get me moving and thinking on my own again.

George and I headed around the corner and away from the prying eyes of Muggles. Once there was no one to see us, George and I quickly apparated back to the flat.

Author's note: surprised? So much for a happy fun New Year's Eve. Well, New Year's Eve is an over yet... thank you everyone for reviewing I can't believe I'm up to 59! You guys rock! Keep the reviews coming.


	11. Into the Woods

**Warning: contains graphic scenes. Not intended for minors. You have been warned.**

**Disclaimer: The characters are owned by JKR. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Into the Woods**

* * *

When we arrived back at Fred and George's flat I was confused and unsure what was can happen next. The stability I had tried to regain in my life had gone flying out the window as fast as I could turn around, literally as fast as I had spun around with Malfoy's voice in my ear.

"George, what are we going to do? How did he find us?" I could hear some of my frantic worry echoing in my voice, and looking to George for reassurance seemed natural. Unfortunately, I wasn't very reassured by the wild look in George's eyes.

"Well, Fred is going to spend the night at Angelina's. Their on-again off-again relationship is on-again. We don't know if Malfoy knew you were with us, or thought you were there alone, or for that matter saw you with the redhead and assumed it was Ron. My biggest concern is if Malfoy was there alone or if there were other death eaters in the crowd. Regardless, we can't stay here tonight. Too dangerous."

"George, then where do you want us to stay? I don't want to go back to Hogwarts yet. My parents are still out of the country. Hell, your parents are still out of the country. If we go to headquarters they'll know something's up. The Burrow is too obvious. So is the Leaky Cauldron."

"I have an idea, and you think about it some more while you pack. Pack enough for three days. I am going to owl Fred."

Now thoroughly confused, which given the stresses of the evening did not take much, I went to do as George asked.

"Pack warm Hermione."

_Warm? What the hell? Where is he planning to take me?_

Rolling my eyes, I turned and went into George's room. Looking through my choices, I threw into a bag three pairs of jeans, some socks, knickers and bras, some long-sleeved shirts made of a soft comforting material, George's jumper that he had dressed me in that first night and I had never given back, and my old soft velveteen cloak. I debated on pajamas. I had some warm concealing conservative pajamas that I used to wear all the time, but I also had some pajamas my mother had gotten me for going back to school this year which I had never worn, having always found some just this side of risqué. I decided that if I wanted to get George out of protective mode and make him see me as something other than has younger brother's best friend, I had better be willing to take a few risks of my own. In went the new jammies. Shrinking my trunk, I shoved it in a pocket and headed back to the living room.

I arrived back in the living room to find George with several bags of food standing impatiently in the middle of the floor waiting for me.

"Are you ready?" He asked me.

"I guess… Aren't you going to pack some clothes?" I asked, wondering what he was planning to do for clothing for the next several days.

"Nope. I already have clothes or were going."

"Ummm, can I ask where that might be?" The mystery was getting a little old.

"I'd hate to spoil the surprise. If you're ready, then help me shrink these bags and we will be on the way." George was smiling, some of his is normal mischievous nature back.

With a sigh I did is he asked. Once the food was shrunk, he took my hand and once again I felt the distinct sense of having someone apparate with me as baggage.

The next moment, we were standing outside a small cabin in a clearing. The tree line was almost circular and about 100 feet from the cabin. Over head there was an uninterrupted view of sky and the stars were magnificent.

"Umm, George, where are we?"

"I'll tell you in a minute, come one, get inside."

Following him through the door, I saw that the cabin was tiny inside. There was one room which contained a sofa, chest, and fireplace, a sink, a refrigerator, and a tiny table, and a doorway which was standing open so that I could see the outlines of a toilet through it.

Once we were inside, George quickly closed the door. Humming to himself, he proceeded to put away the food we had brought from the flat.

I was beginning to get impatient.

"George. Where. Are. We."

"Right. Have a seat." He said, indicating the sofa. "We are at the cabin that Fred and I bought. Sometimes, even we get on each other's nerves. We don't come here together, well, not usually. When one of us needs some space, we come here. We own about 100 acres. Mostly woods. All primitive. No one knows about this place, including our loving family. You have been let in on one of our biggest secrets. So, don't tell anyone. This place has been charmed to be unplottable, so as long as we stay here, no one can find us. I owled George to let him know I had brought you here using our code. This is the safest place I could think of. Safer than Hogwarts, even, since no one knows about it. Bought it from some Muggles…"he trailed off.

Thinking about it, I had to agree with him. It likely was the safest place we could be.

"Won't that leave Fred short handed at the store?" I asked. Both twins were always worried about the store.

"Nah, he should be fine with Lee. Rush season is over. We each usually take a week in January and come out here anyway. Helps us to re-center ourselves. Some of our greatest inventions have been thought of at this cabin."

I felt a little better knowing that Fred could handle the shop alone.

"Only problem with this place is that it's a little cozy for two…" George was still talking about the merits of his property. I looked at him to see if he was going to continue, but he had trailed off, blushing…

"George, I'm going to go ahead and get ready for bed." I looked at him and noticed his blush was increasing. Confused, I pulled my trunk from my pocket and headed into the bathroom.

Once the door was shut, I restored my trunk to its original size and began taking out my pajamas.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, finally realizing what had been causing George's blushes…

Self-consciously, I slid my clothing from this evening off and began putting on the pajamas. The shorts barely covered my bum and were low cut and snug on my hips. The spaghetti strap top showed a significant amount of midriff, and was cut low to expose cleavage. The pajamas were thin white knit cotton and more than a bit see-through. I'd brought them because they were soft and a little sexier than the baggy sweat suit I had been sleeping in.

Oh well…I was trying to get him to notice me after all…I was fairly sure he'd notice this.

Fortunately, I had also brought a red silk robe, which I quickly put on and left the bathroom.

George had gotten a fire going in the grate and was sitting on the couch, which had been opened to reveal a queen sized sleeper-sofa.

As he went into the bathroom to change into his pajama pants, I took my wand and went onto the porch to look at the stars. It was cold outside, so I went ahead and cast a warming charm on the porch, bringing the temperature up to a bearable level. Looking at my watch, which I hadn't taken off yet, I realized it was almost midnight.

What a year this had been…and none of it good…loosing Dumbledore, the strain in my relationship with Ron, the hurt and deaths of people I know and love…of people I had never met…being raped by Malfoy…

Yes, this was one year I was ready to have end. The only good thing to happen was being named Head Girl.

The only bad thing I couldn't blame on Voldemort was Ron.

How could one man destroy so much?

I was lost in thought when I heard the door open behind me. A moment later I felt George's warm form brush against my back and tentatively put an arm around my shoulders.

For a moment I had to suppress a shudder at being touched. His closeness felt strangely like Malfoy.

But then I noticed that he smelled…familiar. I had noticed it before, when I was wearing his jumper right after…the incident. For some reason, that calmed me, and seizing the moment, I leaned my head into his shoulder.

Looking down at my watch, I realized that it was midnight. Smiling, I turned around.

"Happy New Years, George." I said.

"Happy New Years, Hermione." He answered.

I noticed how close we were standing when I felt my breasts brush against his chest. Silk and skin tight cotton did not do much for dulling the sensations of touching. Especially not touching warm skin. George wasn't wearing a shirt, just some loose flannel pajama bottoms.

He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"My nod to tradition. We can skip singing till old acquaintances be forgotten and all that. I don't find myself wanting to forget the people we've lost…" He trailed off.

"Funny, I was just thinking about the same thing when you came out here. I accept your nod." I was smiling now, amazed at how good George was at putting me in a good mood. I also noticed how good he looked without a shirt. And how good he was a kissing. We had barely bumped lips and I felt myself heating up…

"Shall we go inside?" George asked me.

"Lead on." I answered.

When we got inside I noticed that the bed was turned down, ready for sleeping. I also noticed that there was a pile of blankets on the floor and a pillow. I decided not to comment, for now.

George smiled at me as I went to the bed. I turned my back to him and slowly let my silk robe drop to the floor. As it slithered down my body I heard a sharp intake of breath from him. When the silk was laying in a puddle at my feet, I turned around. George was staring at me, blushing a bright red. His shirtless state mad it quite clear that the blush covered him more or less all over…

Giving him my most seductive smile, which I had practiced on Ron for years, I climbed into the bed, fanning my hair out behind me. Leaning up on an elbow I watched as he quickly got into the pile of blankets and covered himself.

Reaching into the pile of my robe, I pulled out my wand and whispered "Nox" plunging the room into semi-darkness, lit by the flickering fire.

Still on my elbow, I could see that he was staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open.

"George," I called softly, "you don't have to sleep on the floor, you know. This bed is plenty big for both of us. I'd sleep better knowing that you were comfortable…"

"Hermione, I'm fine down here."

"You probably are. But between the guilt of having you on the floor and the stress of the evening, I am not going to be able to sleep at all. Please, come up here…"

"Hermione, I don't think that's a good idea." His voice sounded strangled. What was he afraid of?

I sighed. "Fine."

Sometime this evening I had come to terms with the fact that I wanted George. After Malfoy, I had been afraid that I would never want anyone again. But George made me feel safe again, good again. I could laugh with him, and I knew he would do anything in his power to protect me. Why is he avoiding me?

Maybe the old me would be shocked I even am thinking this. I wanted to be his girlfriend, yes. But I also wanted to sleep with him to prove to myself that sex wasn't like what had happened with Malfoy. Why was he not cooperating? I didn't want to just come out and tell him I wanted to have sex! Men! They were supposed to be willing to accept these kinds of offers. George was being more protective of my virtue than I was…

But I didn't want to go back to Hogwarts without having a positive encounter…something to balance out the…incident…

"George, please come up here. Because otherwise I am going to have to come down there so we can both be miserable and uncomfortable."

"Hermione, I don't think that's a good idea."

"George, I didn't ask what you thought."

With a sigh, George acquiesced. Bringing the pillow, he joined me in the bed, sliding under the covers on the far side. As far away from me as was possible…

I let it be for a minute or so, and then I squirmed my way against him, so that my head was pillowed on his shoulder, my arm draped across his chest.

Looking up at his face through my lashes, I noticed his eyes were opened wide and his breathing rate had increased.

"George? Is something wrong?"

"No." He said, his voice sounding a bit squeaky.

Again I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at him. His eyes met mine for a moment. In that moment, some of my feelings must have been visible, because he swallowed.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

He sighed, "I'm not sure of much right now."

"Ah." Was all I said as I laid myself back down, conveniently draping myself across his body. I felt his muscles tense against my cheek. With a feather-light touch I caressed his chest where it lay under me. Rather than relaxing, he tensed more.

"Hermione, please stop." His voice sounded almost like a sob.

Immediately, my hand dropped to my side as I sat up and moved away. As much as I wanted George, I didn't want to do something he didn't want to do. I had been on the receiving end of that.

"George, I'm so sorry. I thought you felt the same." I said as a tear tracked its way down my cheek. I began to slide out of the bed so I could sleep on the floor that George had vacated at my request.

"Hermione…I do feel the same. I just, well, I want us to be special…and I want to know how you really feel. I am afraid that you only want to do this so you can repay me in some way. Some girls that Fred and I have worked with after they had a run-in with a death eater have tried to earn our help that way. And as much as I want you, I want _you_…not you because you feel like you owe me something…does that make sense?"

"George, I don't feel like I owe you. I do feel safe with you, but I don't feel like I owe you sex. I do owe you…hospitality, yes. Cooked meals, yes. Even laundry service…but not sex. George, I have never met someone I was so comfortable with. Who made me laugh and let me cry. Who understands what's important to me. Victor didn't. As much as he was more than a Quidditch player, well, I hate flying. We could never have worked. And Ron, we were too close before. Sometimes you are just too good of friends to be more than that…

"Except for what Malfoy did, I have never done anything but kiss, and even that only a few times.

"But with you, George, I feel like you could be a partner. We're friends, but we haven't grown up together like Ron and I did…so I thought there was a chance for us. And maybe I am rushing this. Trying to get you to have sex with me for the wrong reasons. Not that I owe you. But that I really, really like you…I think I'm falling in love with you, George. And I don't want to go back to Hogwarts wondering if I'll ever get another chance to express it. We're at war, and we're both targets. The possibly wrong reason is that I want you because I want you, I want to be with someone I choose to give myself to. I want to see how it should be, instead of how it was…no George, I don't feel like I owe you…" My voice trailed off.

I could hardly believe I had the guts to tell him all that. What would he think of me now. I know I was blushing scarlet to the roots of my hair and the bottom of my toes. It's amazing how brave we can be in the dark…

I couldn't even look at him for fear of the rejection that I was sure was coming.

"Hermione," he said, gently turning my head to face him, "I don't really know what to say…" his voice trailed off. "I…"

In that moment I had a blinding insight. George, who always seemed so confident, wasn't. Not about this. Not about me. And I, who usually am too afraid to allow myself to be vulnerable, was going to have to decide what to do.

Without thinking any more lest I chicken out, I leaned forward, bringing my face so close to his that I could feel his breath on my lips. When we were so close that our lips almost brushed I stopped, waiting for him to come the rest of the way to me.

All in a rush, I felt his mouth connect with mine as he closed the gap. I had read a few romance novels with their descriptions of kissing in which two souls were said to touch and had discounted them because of my previous experiences. Kissing George was completely different. There was no more room for self-consciousness, only the connectedness that you share when you find someone special…

No longer worried about what he would think I me, I let myself free to explore this new sensation. Deepening the kiss, I tasted his lips, noticing how soft they were. How gentle. Slowly, his lips parted. I had never experienced this before and was unsure how I should react, but decided to follow his lead.

I parted my lips and allowed his tongue to enter my mouth and begin exploring. I had always thought deep kissing like this would be gross, but in reality I found it to be beautiful.

His kisses became more insistent as he continued to explore my face, kissing first my cheek, then dropping his mouth to my neck, moving over to my ear before returning to my lips.

Before the cabin had felt chilly, but now I was beginning to feel feverish.

I reached down and pushed the covers off of us, slowly dragging my hands back up his body. I caressed his arms before trailing my hands down his chest. I noticed as I moved over him that he was breathing hard, with his eyes closed. When I stopped and looked at him questioningly, he decided to return the favor.

Gently his hands traced their way from my shoulders down my sides, his fingers barely tickled my stomach as he slowly drew them up to my chest. He stopped with his fingertips peeking under the hem of my tank, pushing it gently up towards my breasts, as if he were asking my permission to touch me under my clothing.

I hesitated for a moment, realizing that this would be a point of no return and wondering if I was really ready or knew what I was getting into. But the concern in his eyes decided me. I knew that he wouldn't force me into something.

Smiling, I reached down and slowly, teasingly, began to work the tank up baring my stomach, then, even slower, my breasts before pulling it completely off over my head and dropping it on the floor next to my robe.

I knew George had seen me naked before since he had cleaned me up and put me to bed after…the incident. So I wasn't really prepared for his reaction at seeing my breasts exposed.

He was still gentle, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. But he became much more insistent.

He reached both hands down to cup my breasts, stroking my nipples with his thumbs.

I was shocked at the pleasure that coursed through me at this simple action, and a moan escaped.

"Mmmm, George…"

"Hermione, I won't hurt you."

"I know." I whispered, leaning forward so that he tightened his grip and silencing him with a kiss.

Once again he began to kiss my neck, this time stopping at my collar bone before dropping lower to take my upright nipple in his mouth. I felt the pulling sensation on my nipple echoed somewhere deep inside of me. I had never been so turned on before. After a moment he gave equal attention to my other nipple, and I began to loose myself in the sensations.

When he pulled away and began kissing my neck again I decided to return to exploration, and trailed my hand down his chest until it met the waistband of his pajama bottoms. Hesitating only a moment, I slid my hand between his flesh and the flannel pants until it encountered his erection.

This time is was his turn to moan.

Taking this as encouragement, I slid my fingers from the head to the base, noticing the soft texture of his skin and feeling him move without direction. Lightly I stroked him, noticing he was getting more excited from the soft exclamations he made.

"Oh, Hermione…"

I took the waistband in both my hands and began tugging them down over his hips. He quickly raised himself to make this easier, finally kicking them off onto the floor before laying back on the bed.

I took a moment to just look at him, having never seen a man entirely naked before, and thinking that George was a fine example of a man.

Briefly raising my own hips, I slid my shorts off and tossed them on the floor with the rest of our clothing.

George smiled up at me from where he lay, and reaching up, grabbed my shoulders and pulled me on top of him. He began kissing me again, more passionately than before, his hands stroking my back and cupping my ass. Locked together in a kiss, he held me tightly in his arms and rolled us both over so that he was stretched out on top of me.

Again his kisses began trailing south, down my neck, over my breasts and stomach before he gently slid a hand up my thigh, following his fingers with kisses.

At first I was unsure of what he was doing, and a bit nervous. Then I felt his kisses move again to the top of my thigh.

I felt his tongue trace the line between my folds before parted me to taste me more fully. I cried out as he dipped his tongue into me before lightly flicking it over my pearl. This strange soothing, sucking bite took me over the edge to a place I hadn't experience before, not even with my self explorations in the dark of the night.

"Oh, George…" my voice trailed off.

A moment later he raised himself from between my legs and slowly, gently lay atop me again. Kissing me and looking into my eyes he ask, "Are you sure you're ready?"

It was in that moment that I was sure. With a nod and a smile, since I didn't trust my voice, I reassured him.

The next moment I felt him enter me. Unlike the previous time there was no horrible pain, although there was a feeling of being filled completely and joined with the man I love. For a moment I almost panicked, feeling trapped under him, but the next moment he began moving rhythmically and the feeling of pleasure grew and I smelled him, his own smell that brought me comfort.

Smelling him and myself on him, feeling him fill me, having him hold me in his arms as he gently made love to me. I don't know which part took me from enjoyment to the next level, maybe it was a combination of them all.

But as he started kissing me and stroking my face, I felt a pressure begin to build within me in time to his thrusts until, like a wave breaking over me, I moaned my new pleasure, feeling my muscles contract around his shaft. His orgasm followed with the next stroke.

As we lay in each other's arms, completely spent, I realized this was how it was supposed to be. If I hadn't been so filled with joy at what had just happened, I would have hated Malfoy more. But sometimes you have to experience something horrible to appreciate something wonderful.

"Thank you." I whispered into George's ear.

"I should be thanking you." He said, gently disengaging.

"George, I don't just mean the sex. Thank you for showing me what it should be like. As far as I'm concerned, you were my first."

"Hermione…I…I don't really know what to say to that…"

"You don't have to say anything."

"How about I say I love you?" George asked. "I love you, Hermione. Thank you for sharing your first time with me."

"I love you, too, you know."

"I'm going to go gel cleaned up." George climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom. I heard water running.

Thinking now that it was a good thing Ron had gotten me that book, I quickly pulled my wand from my robe on the floor and said a contraceptive charm. I replaced my wand and got up to straighten up the covers as George came out of the bathroom.

We got back in bed together, and fell asleep in each others arms. Lumpy fold out bed mattress or no, it was the best night of sleep I had gotten all of break.

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**A/N: Please review. The story has been read 5000 times and there are only about 60 reviews! If you like it, review it!**


	12. Endings

I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed. The sun was up, and it was so bright out with the light reflecting of the blanket of snow.

I noticed warmth in the bed next to me, and for a moment, wondered where I was. I only wondered for a moment, though, before the previous night came flooding back to me. Going out with the twins and their friends. Running into Malfoy at the club. George taking me to the cabin. The discomfort and misunderstandings, and finally the sex.

I had made love to George. I did love him. I hadn't lied. George had, for all intents and purposes, been my first. But I realized in the bright light of morning that I loved him the way I loved Ginny and Fred and the way I used to love Harry and Ron. The way I still did love Harry and Ron when it all came down to cases. I was annoyed with them, absolutely. But I would still follow Harry into battle. I would be there for them until I died. A botched attempt at romance wouldn't really change that…

Now, what was I going to do about George? I don't want to hurt him. But I don't want to spend my life with him either. In the dark of the night, I had thought that what I wanted was George, forever. But in the bright light of day?

_What the hell…oh damn it, what am I going to do?_

I know the Weasley family. I certainly know them well enough to know how George was going to react to this kind of thing…at least with me, his "little sister" turned lover, best friend of his sister and younger brother, who his mother had always assumed would one day officially be joining the family…

_He is going to want to make an honest woman out of me._

There was a time when I wanted to be an honest woman, waiting until I was with my one true love. Even last night, when it was happening, all I wanted was to be safe in his arms. Forever.

This morning, though, I just want to be in control of my life.

Just then, George started to wake up. I noticed his had moving under the blankets as he stretched the way he usually did in the morning, his breathing speeding up as he began dragging himself towards consciousness.

He stopped moving abruptly when his hand encountered my breast, blue eyes shooting open.

"Hermione!"

"Yes, George?"

"Why are you and I in bed together? Naked?"

"Well, you see George, sometimes, when a man and a woman have certain feelings…"

He cut me off.

"Hermione! That's not what I meant! Oh…" remembrance was dawning…. "we, uh…last night….uh…I mean….we…"

"Yes, George. Last night we had sex. Please don't apologize. It was my idea, and I enjoyed it."

"Oh." His mouth split into a grin. "Good, was I?"

"Well, George, I can only compare it to Malfoy. Compared to him, yes, it was great."

The grin fell quickly, he didn't noticed I was smiling at him, joking.

_I was smiling back_. I think it was the first time I had been able to think about what had been done to me by Malfoy without feeling like I was going to vomit. Apparently, though, George didn't get the joke, the grin completely disappeared from his face.

"Hermione, I…"

"George, please. I didn't mean to upset you or compare you to Malfoy. You were wonderful, exactly what I needed. You were gentle and showed me that sex was not something to be afraid of. I already said I enjoyed it."

Getting up, I stretched and slowly bent over, collecting my pajamas from the floor. Picking up the discarded clothing and rummaging for something to wear that day in my suitcase, I barely noticed that George had turned his face away, which had turned the reddest I had ever seen a Weasley turn, which is saying something, and he wouldn't look at me naked.

_Like he didn't see it all last night._

Once I had made my clothing choices, I headed into the bathroom, purposefully putting more sway in my hips than was normal, as I noticed him looking at me out of the corner of my eye.

As I was getting dressed for the day I heard a lot of noise coming from the other room, but as there was no swearing or screaming, I didn't worry about it.

When I had finished up I cautiously opened the door to see George dressed in some sweatpants and a tee-shirt, the bed having been folded up into a couch.

"George, why didn't you let me help you with that?"

"Hermione, I am quite capable of folding up the sleeper-sofa."

"So, what were you planning for us to do today? And are we staying here tonight as well? I go back to Hogwarts in two days…"

"Well, I was, um…hoping that you wouldn't mind…um…making breakfast." He blushed.

I laughed. "Do all Weasley men think with their stomachs?" I asked. "No, I don't mind cooking. Did you bring stuff?"

He didn't answer me, instead he pointed to the little kitchen. There were some bags on the counter, one of which included the ingredients for pancakes, minus the eggs. Looking further, I found the eggs in a cold-storage box.

Setting all my ingredients on the counter, I began to prepare some breakfast. While the pancakes were cooking, I put butter and syrup on the table, then went back to flip the pancakes.

There is something quite homey about the smell of pancakes. It has always reminded me of my gram's house. It makes me think of sunny mornings and her big yellow kitchen. I don't know if George feels the same way, but he also seemed to be sniffing the air, a big smile on his face.

When I had all the pancakes sacked on a plate, I carried it to the table and watched while George moved several of the discs to his own plate. He smeared them liberally with butter and poured a puddle of syrup on them before taking his first bite. Closing his eyes, he let out a sigh of contentment.

"Hermione, you make the best pancakes I've ever had."

"Well, thanks…"

It didn't take long for him to finish the pancakes on his plate. While I was finishing the two I had placed on my own plate, he moved the rest of the stack onto his plate and made sure we didn't have to worry about storing leftovers.

We ate in silence, although it was companionable silence.

When we were finished, George collected the dishes and took them over to the sink, where he began washing up. Seeing him doing this domestic chore made me realize that someday some girl would be very lucky to have George. I looked at him closely. He was a handsome guy. Tall, well-muscled, gentle, kind…really good in bed…

Suddenly her turned around and faced me, his blue eyes looking at me, a quizzical expression on his face while he dried his hands on a towel.

I smiled at him, I was so lucky to have him as a friend.

He crossed the room in two steps to stand in front of me. Gently, he raised a hand to brush a strand of hair off my face while he dropped to his knees. My grin grew even wider as I realized that George on his knees was the same height as me sitting.

Apparently, George took my smile as an invitation, because he leaned forward and kissed me. At first it was a very soft, tentative kiss. But it didn't take long for it to deepen into something hotter. Grabbing my hands, George pulled me to my feet, his lips still locked with mine. Backing up with slow steps, he led us to the couch. When the backs of his legs met the frame of the sofa, he wrapped his arms around me and drew me with him down into the cushions.

The explorations that followed built on what we had discovered last night, and I had never imagined it was possible to feel so complete. Over the next two days we learned about each other, and I learned about myself. The last two days of my break passed quickly.

Finally, though, it was time for me to go back to school.

Our last morning together in the cottage, we made love for the last time. It was bittersweet, both of us knowing that our lives were about to change. I was going back to Hogwarts, back to my home, my friends, to Ron and Harry and Ginny and Neville, back to classes and duties. George was going back to his shop, back to his dangerous missions for the Order, to his twin, to his life.

In our time together, George had given me a gift. He had given me myself back. Only now I was stronger, braver. It was like I was a tempered version of myself. I had grown up. I had found an emotional shelter in George, and now I could face whatever life threw at me.

We arrived on Platform 9 ¾, ten or so minutes before the train was to leave, and all of a sudden I realized this was it. It hit me in that moment that no one I would be seeing had any idea of what had happened to me. Would they notice a difference in me? Or would they still see me as I had been three short weeks before?

"So, I guess this is it?" George said, looking at me with a question in his eyes.

"I guess so. It is going to be strange to be back at Hogwarts. Back with people who don't know…"

"Hermione, promise me you'll owl me and let me know you're OK."

"Of course I will." God, it was so awkward between us! "Give my love to Fred, and tell him thank you for me…for everything…"

"I will. Give my brother a hug for me. And Ginny, too. Will I see you this summer?"

"Of course! Are you coming to graduation?"

"Probably."

"Well, I'll see you then!"

"Gods, Hermione…"

It was then that I noticed he was crying. And a moment later I realized that a tear was streaking its way down my cheek, too.

"I've got to go, and you need to get on the train. Remember to write."

And with a pop, he was gone. Just as Ginny came through the barrier with her Mother and Father.

"Hermione! Gosh, what's wrong?" Ginny said loudly.

"Nothing, Ginny. Shall we hug your parents and find a compartment?"

"Good idea."

"Hermione! Good to see you." Molly Weasley had bustled over to us, followed by her husband.

"Well dear, you girls had best be going." She quickly enfolded us in hugs. "Hermione, I hope you had a happy break. Come along, Arthur."

Ginny and I got on the train and found a compartment with Neville, Luna, and the Creevy brothers. We waived out the window at the Weasley Parents as the train began to pull out of the station.

I noticed Ginny giving me a look. "Hermione, something happened to you over break. Something important. If you want to talk…well, you know I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Ginny. I'm really OK. You're right, a lot happened over break. But I don't want to talk about it. I just want to get back to school and have my life get somewhat back to normal."

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**This is the end of this fic. I decided this was a natural place to stop it, with her moving out of George's life and going back to school. I am sorry that it took so long for this last chapter, but between grad school and trying to decide what to do with this, it just didn't get done. **

**Don't despair, though, as I will probably write a sequel with what happens with Harry and Ron. Or maybe a one shot where George runs into Malfoy...hmmm...the possibilities...anyway, I hate when stories drag on and on...so I'm stopping this one here.**

**Please review and let me know what you think about a future story... You guys rock.**


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